TAYBEEGIM! ♥

FIRST DAY OF WORK

2012-02-27T21:08:00.001+08:00

OuO it was awesome. Excluding the fact that there's information overload and long hours of sitting and listening as though im in a lecture in school. Otherwise. Everything else was awesome xD oh and also excluding the fact that I wore a skirt. And excluding the fact that I wore a pink top. OTL and I felt like everyone was looking at me like I'm some weirdo because of my pink top OTL too self conscious =_=!

Anyways~ I'm feeling better OuO special thanks to LSS xD am actually kind of braindead now due to the information overload but am at the driving centre now for my final theory practice cos tmr night is my final theory test ._. Yes last minute memorizing but still. Please let me pass /crosses fingers/ think imma gonna crash in bed tonight later OTL

Oh oh!! And there's pontian at yt now OuO awesomax :DDDD and i wanna audi ==! blah. Need sleep. Tmr another long day plus test. Zzz. Someone save me =_= then got to find time and do my music as well. My test is on 17 march =_=! Gg. Everything is happening at the same time -.- urghhhh. Okay I'm left with 1 minute before my practice starts. Shall update next time OuO

Can't wait for tmr!! Getting my awesome pass!! Ohohoho xD

OH PATHETIC ME OTL

2012-02-25T19:56:00.001+08:00

During the day I can't stay awake. At night I can't seem to fall asleep. Throughout the day my mind seems to be occupied yet not working at all. I think about the most absurd things and I dream about the most ridiculous things. There seem to be so much things I want to say and yet there seem to be nothing left for me to say. I feel as though I have to do so many things and then I don't feel like I'm doing anything at all even if I tried.

OTL

Don't mind me. Just ranting since I don't write that much anymore. -.-! I should start writing soon zz

Anyways!! I didn't do music hmwk and I didn't get scolded :o I really don't know what I've been doing this week OTL too much stoning and running away from reality OTL and I just realized. I'm a very boring person. OTL no wonder everytime things turn out the same -.- and yes I'm kind of slow to only realize that now -.-

Oh wells~ Buck up buck up! You are starting work on monday! Make new friends and learn new things! Exciting things are coming up soon!! Exciting things like A level results OTL I keep thinking about that these days too -.- I don't know -.- I suppose I'm just worried -.- and with the amount of time I have in my hands... OTL I think of alot of stupid stuff too -.-!

ANW! My cher went shopping with me just now OuO I kind of don't have any working outfits OTL and they said no jeans... =_= and I should go shower soon then I can play audi. I need to play as much as I can today and tmr. LOL kidding. I need to mug for music theory OTL 17 march is coming veh quickly D: please let it be alright ._. And I'm trying to aim for 1 mil for a song in audi. ==! I hit 980k just now OTL missed by abit =_= shall try to hit it by tonight >:) mwahahaha okay. Sorry. That's an excuse. But. Whatever. I WILL KICK THIS HABIT FROM MONDAY. I hope. /prays/

DUMB DREAM

2012-02-24T13:07:00.001+08:00

-.- because of the dream, many weird and stupid thoughts are now in my head -.- zzz retarded. How can I even dream of that. Pfft.

And I should get out of bed to do my music hmwk soon OTL

I FEEL SO.. DRAINED.

2012-02-23T23:28:00.001+08:00

Exhausted. Empty. I dont know. Maybe I'm just feeling emotional or something these days. I'm not supposed to touch the lap top today. I'm supposed to be a good girl and be sleeping right now. But.. When have I ever been a good girl..? I tried to sleep but my mind won't shut the hell up. And I think I'm too reliant on others.

Oh wells. Starting work next Monday. Hopefully it'll turn out well. Nervous and all. In addition, I'm not allowed to wear jeans OTL My dad suggested a skirt OTL Someone kill me please. I have to wear a skirt two days in a row. And no white tops. White being my favourite colour, my wardrobe is full of white. Well, I do try to get black sometimes. But still. A dress will be too much. A skirt will be.. OTL And I only have that one nice white skirt that is presentable. Really. Someone kill me please. Urgh. I've tried to google on "smart casual", but apparently it was of no help at all. /faints/ I need a consultant. And I'm getting panicky over this "smart casual" thing. OTL

Oh. I just remembered. I need to do my music homework. /headdesk/ Right. Tomorrow.

OHOHOHO ♥

2012-02-17T21:50:00.003+08:00

im actually hired!! xD and i'll be seeing the guys tmr!! :DD cant wait! kyaa!!~ though i havent finish my music homework though. xD ahh i should do it now. but its really a torture -.- ALRIGHT I SHALL DO IT. for tmr's sake!~ GAMBATTE >:(

WEEKENDS PLEASE COME SOON

2012-02-14T00:24:00.000+08:00

i think im just wasting my life away these days ._. i mean sure. i had fun times with kachib ytd. but still. everything feels like. oh. i remembered. I HAVENT DONE MY MUSIC HMWK. =_= feels as though my purpose in life is to be tortured by music hmwk everyday -.- pish posh applesauce. =.=

sigh. oh wells. will be seeing yappy tmr :) and then.. driving tmr as well.. and then wednesday.. heading to school to pass hui math tys.. then heading to orchard to walk walk.. try my luck see if got jobs :/ going with dong and yappy :D hmm~ then.. oho. i really need to do my music hmwk. -.- if not i have no time to do == sighhh. music hmwk whai euu like to torture me :(

feeling quite sleepy now. even though i slept just now from 3pm to 7pm -.-! went swimming with grace this morning. then headed over to lot 1 for lunch then the library~ then headed home like a good girl. -.-! oh wells. -.- quite tired as well. -.-

and and i want to cut my hair like hebe in this videooo - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qL_4CsGrCmk&feature=related :DDDDDDDD

okay. that was random. but still~~ so awesome ♥.♥ okay i shall go audi soon. and maybe sleep. maybe~~

happy valentine's day my love. get well soon and i'll see you soon. ♥

ITS 430AM AND IM STILL HERE~

2012-02-12T04:43:00.000+08:00

:D

i audi-ed~ i reached 3 mil going to reach 4 mil for my br just now :DDDD damn cool xD

LOL. and gonna have steamboat later with kachib <3 well. not all of them's coming. i think. but still. its gonna be fun :DDDDDD and i dont really wanna sleep -.- the thought of being dug up by my dad 3 to 4 hours later -.- sighhh -.- and my mom asked me to go see chinese doctor =.= psh. its also nothing serious. i hope. == okok after tonight i shall go sleep properly later at night. after the steamboat xD and i shall do my music hmwk on monday. i promise :D

and i have no idea whats going on. but eve helped me do some rp thingy stuff -.- i wonder whats that =.=

oh wells! anyways! I SHALL DO MY MUSIC HMWK. I WILL. rofl. feel idiotic but still. i will do it xD i should sleep soon. i should. but i probably wont sleep so soon. xD see how~ :DD shall blog next time~

feeling happier today~ xD

I KNOW THAT

2012-02-11T00:35:00.001+08:00

my dad's coming home real soon. but still~ i had to blog since blogging does actually help me organize my thoughts :D and also~ well when im really really really REALLY!! bored to the very very ultimate max. i can actually read and see how stupid i've been fretting about retarded things xD

well! i went back to school today :D :D :D met my bowling peeps and teachers~! quite awesome actually. shall probably go back again next week xD went to grace's house after lunch today~ spent our time talking about everything and anything LOL. reached at about the same time as hteik xD then found out today got cca bazaar :D and tada~ went back on impulse LOL and got lectured by dad for not telling him that i've gone to school or calling him to let him know im safe =.= oh wells. i deserved it -.- but still. i had to enjoy that short period of freedom -.-

okok i shall not get into further trouble and shall go to bed before he sees me still awake -.- in any case~ today was awesome <3 and im looking forward to next week! :) alright! shall stop here~ not very long but still something :D

ITS ONLY DAY 8 :(

2012-02-08T21:24:00.002+08:00

MY FAV IDOL HEBE TOOK THAT PICT ♥♥♥ SO AWESOME RIGHT ♥ okay i know i havent been updating. have been.. not really busy. just dont feel like blogging these days. not feeling as.. optimistic as usual >.< but im feeling better now! i think :x anyways! i have been going into audi every single day. ROFL. im not addicted to it but it just feels like i am. i just go in for my meimei and chinggu ♥ and my dear KACHIB ♥ xD and today went to meet eve&xy at amk :D went to sing k LOL from 2 to 7 >< damn long hahaha! and then.. yeah have been going for driving lessons regularly.. and have been trying to do my music theory.. and today applied for another job.. dont know if will get any replies. but not very important..

sigh. it feels so draggy these days :/ draggy, tiring and horrible. but still. life goes on.. AND I AM DAMN PRO I RECOVERED FROM FEVER TOTALLY IN 15 HOURS (Y) IM PROUD OF MY ACHIEVEMENT HAHA. and i hope i get to go to grace's house this friday! ><

also i realised i've been singing alot lately -.- sing as in sing. not like last time just random hummings or listen to music then sing -.- its just sing =.= zzz and i need to look for more distractions :/ alright. i shall go in audi now. shall update next time!~

I THINK IM GROWING OLD :(

2012-01-29T03:08:00.001+08:00

Can't sleep well or even fall asleep :( even when I have to wake up 630 later I'm still awake now :( Gahhh. Maybe I worry too much as well. Oh wells. I brought it upon myself i guess -.- hope I can survive the day later >.<

I SHOULD PROBABLY STOP DOING THIS

2012-01-27T02:25:00.001+08:00

Sure it keeps it occupied and all but at the very end of the day nothing changed. Oh wells.

And yes I am still awake. Should be sleeping soon. Going to meet thiri tmr. And having my final theory lesson. these few days have just been eating, playing audi with eve and sleeping. and I need to do my music hmwk tmr :/ sigh. I forgot about it -.- I'm an idiot -.- oh wells -.-

I shall go get some sleep and chiong tmr -.- goodnight world. Don't even know what am I doing by blogging at a time like that == should have done it ytd when I had nothing to do at 530 -.- oh wells. Night ppl -.-

IM JUST BEING STUPID

2012-01-25T21:35:00.001+08:00

wells! i did something to my playlist once again! i'll probably be spamming pictures in this post -.- i dont really know what to say actually. zz. and then again, all my pictures come from tumblr. =.= ah wells whatever -.-

and anyways. just came across this awesome person who sings damn well. to me at least. :D can check it out if you want to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_profilepage&v=FeCj6K4szHI

wells. yeah. not much. probably just not really in the mood to say much. oh wells. have a nice day. or night.

I FEEL SO SLEEPY :(

2012-01-24T17:30:00.003+08:00

it feels like im sleep typing now -.- im like half asleep =.= and tmr i'll be going over to thiri's house! :D we'll be job hunting together!! yay! :D i shall pangseh dong LOL. because he dao my whatsapp! okay lah. i know lah. he's working~ but still~~~ whee~ and chinese new year this year is filled with lots of gaming on the phone. LOL. and talkbox HAHA! sure~ there are unhappiness but since there are happiness there ought to be some unhappiness~~ blahblahblah~ failed attempt but good try anyway xD LOL. retarded person talking to herself xD and i felt so tall yesterday :D wore my heels ytd~ and then today i feel short because i wore flats xD sigh. feel so sleepy -.-

how should i convince myself to believe? what can i do so that such stupid thoughts will stop coming into my mind? what in the world am i worried about? oh right. i actually do know. but still. its like. ah wells. i should stop thinking so much -.- i think im really exhausted that stupid stuff is coming into my head. shall go and sleep. goodnight world.

ITS ABIT LATE BUT STILL

2012-01-24T00:55:00.001+08:00

Happy Chinese new year!

Spent the whole day out! Approximately 15 hours outside :D it wasnt exactly very interesting or exciting though xD spent 80% of the time playing games on my phone xD oh wells! It isn't early anymore and I still have one whole day tmr!~ gambatte!! Goodnight world!~

家家都有一本很难念的经

2012-01-22T22:36:00.001+08:00

忍一忍雨过天晴
退一步海阔天空

Hang in there.

HAPPY DAY TODAY~ :D

2012-01-20T21:35:00.002+08:00

whee!! today was awesome!! i got to drive on the outside road!! :DDDD instructor praised me too xD hehe! then went shopping with mom :D spent a total of exactly $149 hahaha! and bought alot of stuff xD now when i want clothes i know where i can go :P and yesterday went to meet hteik and dong at jp ^^ made dong pay for everything HAHA! the lunch at swensons, the 3 hour karaoke and the arcade! LOL before hteik came we went to design the cake thing xD my art fail HAHA! i shall not embarrass myself by posting it online :D and today! i finally sat down and wrote after quite some time! :) started with my 17th book on a happy day~ whee~ okay. actually im kind of blogging in secret now :x supposed to be sleeping lah~ but then~ heehee! supposed to pack my room today! but ended up being outside the whole day so i shall pack tmr! :D

oh wells. have been thinking for abit. despite being happy xD i dont know. maybe its just me. okay i think it is me LOL. i dont really know how to properly deal with stuff like that so i'll probably end up seeming as though i dont really give a damn i guess? hmm i suppose maybe im overthinking stuff again~ ahhhhh i shouldnt kill so many brain cells. should just let it be? even though its not supposed to be this way? hmmmmm~~ LOL gg im too happy to feel even a teeny weeny bit of unhappiness xD wonder if its a good thing. ahh but then again, avoiding aint the solution~ what should i do~ maybe i should start from scratch? >.< yupp :D i shall do that! LOL thinking about serious stuff when happy is not really a good thing xD

ahhh i feel so sleepy these days!! maybe cos im feeling sleepy and a few stuff come into my mind LOL. ah wells. maybe i should do some serious reflection soon! okay~ i shall blog the next time! goodnight people!~ ^^

>.<

2012-01-19T08:10:00.001+08:00

Please don't come true >.<

I THINK IM TALENTED HAHAHA!

2012-01-18T17:02:00.001+08:00

Gg feel weird today LOL had some weird dream and then went driving today~ it was awesome xD the instructor say I good sia HAHA! Anyhow! Will be going to jp tmr :DDD quite excited! Heehee! Finally able to see my dear hteik!! ^^ and then there's dong to bully~ and heading over to grace's house tmr! Whee! Have plans with mom tmr and friday too!! :DD I shall try to finish packing my room tonight! Just woke up from 2 hours plus nap xD hehe! Ah wells! It's time to go to gng's house for dinner!~ shall look out for clothes tmr too~ ^^ whee! I still havent told my plans with mom though HAHA gg~ xD nah it'll be fine xD whee! Blog next time xD

昨天不吵前天不吵上个礼拜也不吵就偏偏今天来吵

2012-01-17T18:49:00.001+08:00

-.- very smart -.-

RAH

2012-01-16T22:41:00.001+08:00

I have too much cravings for ice cream and cold drinks these days.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO~

2012-01-16T16:12:00.001+08:00

Whee! Had an awesome time yesterday!! <3 :D And happy times always flies ._. oh wells! All I've done today was morning's driving final theory practice and sleep and lazing in bed (Y) and now I'm hungryyyyy :D maybe I should stop doing nothing. Ah wells! Have already 说好 to look for a job after cny since the person never contact me~ hopefully I'll get to do something~ even dragged dong that pig along xD Whee! Might be going out with grace tmr then out with grace and hteik on Thursday!!~ can't wait to see the both of them!! :DD

Gg~ cny is just next week -.- abit don't want it to come eh -.-! Don't really have the cny mood -.- maybe I sleep too much alr xD hmm maybe i should start to do things myself -.- cant always do things like how im doing now I think -.-! I'll get nowhere at this rate -.-! Sigh~ what am I to do~

aiyoh!! Can't stand it alr! Hungry ttm. Shall blog next time.

PERHAPS?

2012-01-14T13:56:00.001+08:00

perhaps part of me have already given up hope. perhaps thats why im not trying as hard as i used to. perhaps thats why. oh wells~ whatever will be will be.

anyways! i dont know for how long i havent touched my computer :D perhaps since tuesday? :D well.. tuesday i went into malaysia in the morning and went to visit my popo~ :D then went for some interview for my job. and the person said she will call me on wednesday but up till now still no news (Y) then just came home and sleep xD then wednesday!! woke up 5.50am LOL. couldnt sleep xD then went to school reached at 8 :D then gave chan his kawaii thingy! went around school~ went to help abit at the booth!~ hahaha! then the girls had trouble with the projector thingy so i bugged chan to help them xD then after that went to look at the notice board. ITS DAMN NICE!! :DDDD haha! then after that went to uss!! ♥ GOT TO SEE MY FIRST AND AWESOMEST SUNSET EVER!! ♥ :DDD hehe! thursday went for my btt! finally got my PDL :D I CAN START DRIVING NAO!! LOLOL. well in the driving centre that is. xD then friday.. i stayed home. then went to gng's house~ then spent my whole afternoon writing my music and watching drama. :D i finished my drama but i didnt finish my music xD hahaha! was supposed to write some this morning but i kind of lazed in bed :P am going to sneak out later~ :D okay not sneak out. just walk out for abit :D and then now my dad's bugging me to shower -.- pfft. just when i finally blogged he bugs me rawr! fine! i shall blog next time! -.-

ITS GETTING ANNOYING

2012-01-08T13:24:00.001+08:00

Or maybe it's just now. Havent I already gotten used to all these bullshit? Why am I feeling so upset about the same stupid things. And so everything becomes my fault and that I'm just some.. What. I don't even know how to describe. As though I don't want to work? Sure. All of you are concerned. But then just judging me based on that? You all don't even know what really is going on. Screw it. I don't want to bother anymore. I'll just shut my ears to everything you all say from now on. I'll do whatever I want go out whenever I want. Fuck off.

RAWWRRR

2012-01-07T16:06:00.001+08:00

I WANTS A VIOLIN

YAY!! ♥♥♥

2012-01-05T16:14:00.000+08:00

THIRI'S BAAAAAAAACK!!! ♥♥♥ HAHA! i feel so damn excited cos of that!! :DDDDD I CANT WAIT TO SEE HER ♥ AND JUMP ON HER TOO!! xD

whee!! im supposed to do my music today! i havent touched it!!! >.< okay i shall go do it after this! and need to do some stuff for tmr too!! so many things to do today because i keep procrastinating :D wonder what happened to my new year resolution xD hehe! anyways! going out with hui and jing tmr!~ omg grace and me are getting excited over thiri's return and planning of meeting up HAHAHA!

okay! i shall not blog so much today~ MUSIC TIME!~ ♥

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS?

2012-01-04T14:40:00.000+08:00

it's not that i really want to list down my new year resolutions but i guess it just kind of make me feel better because i seem to be doing something about it but in actual fact im not :D ah and here's last year's resolutions:

first and foremost, i would like to study harder than i've ever did before.
wells, i admit i havent really studied ever since i was born. not that im trying to show off say oh im so smart (partly :P) but seriously i should give studying a chance before i dont get anymore chances to give studying a chance seeing that its my final year in JC...

secondly, i would like to be more organised.
hmm. this will be a challenge. cos i've never been organised before. LOL. but oh wells. after today's mass packing of my worksheets for JC 1.. hmm. probably i should give it a shot?

thirdly, i would like to be more focused.
yeh. this is also another challenge cos im always and forever distracted. but well, i'll try.

fourthly, i would like to pull my grades up.
yes i totally agree with this resolution because MY GRADES SUCKS and i still have no idea how i got promoted. shit that.

fifthly, i would like to think more on the bright side
its not only good for my mind but my body so i thought, why not?

okay the first one succeeded. second one.. kind of xD third one failed terribly. fourth one failed too. fifth one.. maybe? xD and then what should i do this year?

1. Spend more time with my lovelies! ♥♥♥
2. Less procrastination
3. Do well and hopefully get into the finals this year?
4. Bring smiles to the faces of people I love ♥
5. Keep my room neat! LOL
6. Hopefully get into a course that I enjoy in University if I actually miraculously achieved grades that allow me to go into University and work hard!

aye! thats about it i guess? think i dont really have much expectations -.- and yes i knoww i havent been blogging! i havent been mapling either!! LOL. i've been sleeping alot and going out! :D hmmm. spent the last day of the year at vicky's house.. counted down.. hid in her bedroom using my phone xD then got chased to bed at 12:40am LOL. rah. anyways. woke up. looked for grace! ♥ talked for abit.. then went to grandma's house lunched with michh ♥ and then went for table tennis with michh, song, dong, vicky & victor ♥ was fun! :D and then went to buy myself a pair of new shoes cos my old ones are like.. spoiling LOL. sent michh home then went for dinner then homed. and.. i think i spent most of my time at home smiling at my phone LOL. okay i sound like a retard now rahhh. i spent monday sleeping. the whole day i think. yeah. and tuesday out the whole day ♥ and today home the whole day again xD shall do my music today! i hope. LOL. wells.. im currently uploading video though. and its taking ages. so much for good quality videos :/ ah wells. hope there will be a difference. -.-

oh oh! I AM GOING TO EAT KSM LATER!!! i think. LOL. blah. but i dont have the spicy ksm anymore :( might not be eating after all :( rahhh. but i dont want to go downstairs eitherrrr... maybe i should add my 7th resolution as dont be so lazy LOL. okay that will confirm be a useless resolution because this laziness of mine is my trademark :D well kind of xD hehe!

hmm! maybe its time to do something to this blogskin of mine. LOL. i kind of got bored of it xD ah wells. maybe later or tmr :D time to stop blogging! :D

♥

2012-01-01T10:12:00.001+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!!! :DDDDDDD

HAVE AN AWESOME 2012~~! ^^

MY POSTS ARE GETTING SHORTER EACH TIME LOL.

2011-12-28T12:48:00.001+08:00

:D

okay. so. i didnt blog yesterday. i think. LOL. cant remember xD anyways! im taking my evaluation tmr!! if i dont pass it i have to retake again. i desperately need to pass it by 2nd Jan -.- if not my BTT will be cancelled!!! :o okay. my aunt said its easy cos my couz just did once and passed LOL. whuuuut! later i fail then how xD

rawr! i shall blog next time. my thoughts kept getting interrupted -.-

ONLY A DREAM

2011-12-26T17:15:00.001+08:00

I still wished though.

LOL

2011-12-25T20:56:00.001+08:00

In my dreams maybe.

RIDICULOUS ADDICTION

2011-12-25T18:31:00.001+08:00

Yes it's Christmas and I'm at the hospital with him. Not that there's anything wrong with me. Just here. To be exacted, dragged here. But oh wells. I'm here after all -.- I'm quite amazed at how I spend my Christmas today up till now. Waking up and watching drama in the morning. Mapling in the afternoon. Then hospital in the evening. I wonder what's next. Lol.

Well. At the very least I managed to fall asleep finally. though still quite tired now -.- Gah. I'm feeling so frustrated today zzzzzzz I dunno why either. Sigh. I wish I can shut down my brain or put it on hibernate mode like my lappie -.-! It's quite disturbing zz

Ah there goes my hope of having a nice dinner tonight. Gng insists on eaiting for szewee kor. Dad refuses to call the others until everything in the hospital is settled. And then we have to stay here for over an hour. And the doc inject so many medicine in him -.-! Sian. Don't even know what's wrong -.-

So frustrated. Blah. I shall go away.

Merry Christmas.

25th DEC 2011

2011-12-25T10:46:00.001+08:00

EXHAUSTED TTM :/

2011-12-24T21:38:00.001+08:00

Only had one meal for the whole day today -.- and then tried to sleep but failed terribly. I think I may be hoping too much for the airport trip later. Most likely it will turn out to be like that dinner on my birthday that time. How could that slip off my mind. Oh wells. In any case I'll get to see them soon :) spent my whole day in bed. Literally. Watched drama. Didnt really want to watch but I couldn't sleep -.- Ah but what should I do tmr. I have Christmas morning all to myself. Oh and afternoon too. Hmm. Wonder if there will be any dinner tgt with them tmr. Lol always last minute -.-

Blah. I think I'm getting frustrated with being unable to sleep. How many nights already. :( have been doing lots of thinking lately too. I guess I have too much time on my hands. I need to start doing my stuff. Wonder how many times I said that but yes -.- I need to get down to work -.- shall try to rest before heading to the airport..

He'll never understand. When he says one it can't be two. No point getting upset. Just gotta act on your own.

WHAT SHOULD I DO

2011-12-23T23:37:00.001+08:00

Cos I can't sleep :/

Sigh. Stupid.

Urgh. Whatever. :(

MORNING POST~

2011-12-23T09:14:00.002+08:00

nah. i just feel too bored. and couldnt really sleep last night so i ended up waking up as early as 6 plus. though i stayed in bed till 7 plus 8 plus. till i couldnt stand it and ended up in the kitchen looking for honey -.- i think my fever is officially gone though :D well at least i think so. its not very very very accurate but its 85% right most of the time. xD ate tang yuan yesterday!~ my ah ma cooked it!! damn nice~ xD ate quite alot hehe! and and! tmr is saturday!! yay!! im gonna get to see my darlings soon!! :D :D :D

i may be just staying in bed the whole day today again -.- ah wells. actually i have nothing to say -.- i just felt like blogging cos im too bored zz kay i should try to rest or smth. though i really doubt the fever will come back. well. prevention is better than cure. or is it the other way round o.o no right =.= kk prevention is better than cure =.=

I THINK I MIGHT BE INSANE, OR MAYBE I ALREADY AM.

2011-12-22T12:48:00.001+08:00

i think that it's good to be sick sometimes. because last night and this morning a miracle happened xD last night because i reached home at 9 plus and showered at 10 plus. she actually volunteered to dry my hair for me :D and then this morning she gave me a hug!! whee! LOL. yesh. i was sick. but thats nothing~ i think i made a new record for myself for recovering (kind of) in 9 hours. my temperature dropped from 39.1 to 36.9 in 9 hours and thats when i felt that i was well enough to go for the chalet xD it was quite fun especially when we were playing cards xD haha laugh until my stomach pain xD then my fever came back at night though haha! then im fine again today :D im weird~ xD

and then there's some bad stuff about being sick because i cant fall asleep at all. though last night i did fall asleep because i was really really really exhausted ttm after being unable to sleep for one whole night previously. so yeah. im feeling better today :D and then because im sick i dont feel like doing anything. and hence i spend most of my time at my favourite place aka my bed. <3 and then again. thats not really a good thing though its really comfortable. -.- kept thinking of alot of stupid stuff -.- like what if i were to die tmr and many other stuff =_= too free already -.- and i think i've been procrastinating and slacking too much. even though i reached grade 3 for my music theory and feel that i know 95% of basic theory and started packing my room (but no more packing for now). i still need to write out the score for my song next year and chiong my theory to grade 5 and start reading my final theory and really pack my stuff. -.-

i dont even know anything. how am i to know how to react, what to say, what i can say when i dont know anything. just cant understand. i only know im mad. =.= ah wells -.- im born this way what can i do =.= or maybe i already know thats why i dont know. -.- okay that sounds abit confusing -.- but yeah probably. oh wells. what will be will be. think my head's not working today. shall stop blogging for now. kind of tired -.- cant wait for saturday! airport at night~~ whee!~ anyone wants to join? xD haha! i doubt so~ wheee~ blog next time!

THE TRUTH IS

2011-12-20T23:25:00.001+08:00

I'm going to sleep soon. Sadly. Yes. Cos I think if I don't I will not have enough rest and my sore throat will worsen. Already lost my voice :( must be all the singing I did these days that worsen my sore throat too -.- Shall not crap so much now. Shall sleep.

Going insane. Zz. Night people.

I THINK I JUST HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO

2011-12-20T22:59:00.001+08:00

thats probably why im updating my blog so frequently. -.- no life -.- zz. anyways. I DID DO SOME PACKING OF MY ROOM OKAY! and it got worse LOL. okay it's not done yet. but hey at least i started! was thinking of giving vincent some of the summary notes that helped me. though i think he dont really need them since he's so smart and all... xD nevermind~ i shall just throw everything to gng's house after i file and stuff :D i went into maple and ended up being afk there LOL. sian luh. dont even feel like mapling. -.- think i gonna get sore throat soon. zz. didnt eat alot of unhealthy food leh. oh. or maybe i did. unknowingly. :D

cant wait for christmas to come! >.< really miss them alot :( didnt notice that i actually spend alot of time with them. haiz. actually i dont know why im going for the chalet tmr. not exactly looking forward to it other than being able to hang out with huangyu -.- hehe but finally able to get to go out with her! :D

damned. he's annoying the hell out of me again. shall wait till he goes to work then go maple with the two of them.

SOME THINGS WILL NEVER CHANGE

2011-12-20T14:53:00.003+08:00

am still procrastinating like nobody's business. he's going insane in trying to get me to pack my room. and im getting real annoyed at his nagging and lectures about the same thing over and over again every single day. darn. i feel damn comfortable in my room. in fact. too comfortable that i dont see any need to pack anything at all. -.- okay fine. i'll do it tonight i swear. -.- gotta do some stuff as well~

went for BTL this morning. kind of boring. because i went for practice before the lesson so yeah i kind of know everything already -.- my sequence abit messed up =.= and its all because of ahem tsk. stubborn person. oh wells. will be lunching with huangyu tmr~ and going for HYSC chalet for the very first time in my whole life. just for the BBQ/steamboat though. better than nothing.

its like when i successfully convinced myself about something. something else had to come out and change it. tsk. its pretty annoying. -.- i mean sure i keep telling myself not to think so much and stuff but sometimes.. okay not sometimes. all the time. it fails. and then i go on thinking about everything and anything. i know. im just so awesome. xD

oh. its raining. nice weather to sleep (Y) thinking what i should do now. dont exactly feel like mapling. cant play the electone cos he's sleeping. want to pack my room only tonight. not hungry. i guess im just left with either sleeping or stoning. so bored ttm. but i like it. LOL. because no one is annoying me now. sleeping like a pig snoring away. xD

oh and my grandma is damn cute LOL. she didnt know she bought alot of stuff from taiwan. so we went to her house yesterday and helped her unpack the food she bought and stuff. then she was like. wah so many ah? and she gives this really genuine surprise look LOL. then she tried pushing some stuff to us xD but of course it failed :D whee~

i think im pretty contented with my holiday life apart from all the repeated nagging and lectures. -.- i havent signed up for any language/music class yet. gah. gotta do something about this procrastination habit of mine. got to find time to go out with mich, dawn, hui, jing, liau, dong, my son, yappy and time to stay over at vicky's house. cant wait for them to come back on xmas eve >.< going to the airport on xmas eve LOL. then pick them up cos they landing at 2355 24/12/2011 and then spend first few minutes/hours at the airport (Y) then after that we can all maple together! :D LOL. yeah maple. xD okay. im really bored and im just rambling on about nothing and so i've decided to go and sleep. :D I SHALL TRY TO STAY AWAKE TONIGHT MWAHAHAHA! then bug dong LOL. or maybe sneak out. or maybe i am really very fail and fall asleep in the end. LOL. maybe xD alright GOODNIGHT PEOPLE~

-nothing ever changes.

HOME

2011-12-19T21:27:00.003+08:00

yes~ im comfortably seated on my bed ♥ heehee! slept damn well last night. just that im as dumb as usual. -.- i was thinking that today is the 20th and so i woke up at 8 plus getting ready to go for my BTL and when i reached there i couldnt find my class so i went to the information counter and then the girl told me today is the 19th. (Y) -.- i have nothing to say -.-

already went in to maple to do the attendance quest for myself and victor lolol. well i bought a bracelet for gng and i was so afraid that she wouldnt like it turns out she loves it! :D yay! xD and as expected szewee kor chose the guitar~ hahaha! whee!~ okay yesterday was kind of messed up. eh. not really messedup-messedup. but abit hectic uhhs. -.- someone forgot a luggage of clothes -.- and its all because of a NT$100 umbrella =.= she was just going on and on about whether the umbrella would come out. and then when it came out she was so happy LOL. wth okay then yes checked everything. double asked if there's anything else. both of them said nothing then we went out. happily eating dinner took cab home. and when we reached home the phone call came. saying she left a luggage in the arrival hall LOL -.- and so okay my dad did all the stuff then went back to collect it and stuff. so ended up we travelled nearly 7/8 of PIE 3 times. 1st time is go home. 2nd time go there collect the luggage. 3rd time go home after collecting the luggage (Y) went past CJ 3 times in 2 hours plus LOL and then everything had to happen at the same time. as in when we come back. like. camera spoil. tv spoil. luggage forget to take. and some stuff i too lazy to recall. -.- but yeah -.-

and the plane circled in the air for like half an hour ytd lol just stonez -.- like when they say they gonna land then after that circle so long =.= oh and the plane got like 15 empty seats around me LOL. was right at the back of the plane xD then i got like 3 seats to myself and slept like a pig LOL then i dont know for what, my dad went to buy a pen on the plane -.- super super super random == oh oh!! and i saw a trolley man yesterday at the airport xD hahaha! pushing one whole row of trolleys inside the arrival hall then outside the arrival hall still pushing one trolley xD so kawaii!! oops. LOL.

i think i have nothing better to do so i created another site for myself to post lyrics of nice songs so i wont end up flooding this place with chinese song lyrics -.- blah i really have nothing better to do because i dont want to pack my stuff. >.<

time to go to my beloved wordpress because i've done too much meaningless thinking during the 7 days. xD shall do my packing tmr. i think. >.< really need to pack my room desperately. it has been in this state for more than 2 months -.-! zzz how lazy can i get =.=

TO-DO
PACK ROOM
MUSIC THEORY
BTT
PREZZIES&STUFF
WRITE MY SONGS

ITS MY LAST NIGHT AND IM GOING HOME TMR! :DDDDDD

2011-12-17T23:44:00.002+08:00

YAY! IM FINALLY GOING HOME TMR! :D i know -.- i was supposed to enjoy this trip but its really getting unbearable =_= too unbearable. now im just ignoring everything else. might just rebel and go downstairs and read my theory later. pfft.

today.. i forgot what we did. -.- ah.. OH YA WE CAME DOWN FROM THE MOUNTAINS. tsk. i dont care. imma gonna go back there again one day. for sure. so much better than the what, 3rd most expensive hotel in sun moon lake there. =.= i mean the place not the facilities =.= haiz. i feel bad. but this thought actually went through my mind: it would be better if she didnt come even if its only just the two of us. -.- meh. nevermind. it would be so much better if i came alone -.- the next time i shall come here alone. pfft.

wells. OH OH! and!! i dont know how. unknowingly. we went to the place where they sell pearls. y'know those round shiny ones. where they make the dunno what powder whatever it is can eat one. then unknowingly. we got like nearly 50% discount for one of the pearls o.o seriously. S$800++ become S$470. (Y) and its the last piece and one of the rare ones ._. i dont know what happened because all the sales people and when i say all, it means all, even the lady boss was there =.= they were all like getting my dad to pay and buy that pearl =_= then we really not enough S$ =.= then cannot spend so much taiwan currency -.- so.... it was really really chaotic until they ripped us all off our S$ (not all actually but to them is all cos we smart we hide the rest LOL) then the lady boss say she will just pay the rest to make up to S$500 or S$550 i dunno which but yah whatever the point is we only paid S$470 for that.. -.- thing. -.-

hmm. should i stay up tonight and sleep in the plane tmr instead. LOL. i think that would be more comfortable -.- and i learnt my lesson. i shall try to sit next to my dad instead. =.= dont even know if i can fall asleep tonight. one side snoring damn loudly. the other side wake up every dunno how many hours and then wake up at 3am in the morning (Y) oh freak. i jumped LOL. cos suddenly got someone snore damn loudly. -.- from no sound suddenly got sound. zzz

and yes~ i did something to my playlist again LOL. wellzzzz i was too boredzz~~ xD okay lah. maybe i should go and do my music now. tsk. just when i thought i understand the thingy they come out new thingy and make me confused again ==

oh. im allowed to go downstairs. o.o but he wants to come too o.o ... thats.. weird -.- ah wellz == and then he starts snoring again =.= was he sleep talking to me =.= cannot be right -.- zzz nevermind. i shall just watch my show on youtube. lolol~ 豬哥會社 its funny xD hehe! LOL. okay. i dont think i will read my music anymore xD whee! kay i shall stop spouting nonsense here -.- SINGAPORE HERE I COME TMR! IMMA GONNA STAY IN BED LOL. if i can. -.- feels like i got alot of stuff to do >.< ah wells. see how~

I KNOW MY CAMERA SKILLS AINT THAT GOOD BUT ITS DAY 5 NOW!

2011-12-16T20:08:00.001+08:00

okay i havent been to tumblr lately so i'll just make do with some pictures i took by myself. aint really thaaaaaat fantastic but its the nicest i could find from my phone. na.

all taken on the way from alishan to anping. now at dakeng. love it here! got animals!! <3 hehe! here also got hot springs desu!~ AND HERE CAN PLAY WITH FIREWORKS!! :DDDDD oh wells. i was supposed to walk around but apparently someone insists that its too dark :( and then they start to quarrel among themselves =.= wth -.- okay not quarrel-quarrel but just feel annoyed with each other =.= pfft. whats wrong with them anyway -.- meh dont really care. i just have fun by myself.

OH OH! AND I TOUCHED A RABBIT JUST NOW!! LOL wth. im like some suaku never touch rabbit before =.= okay actually i really never touch rabbit before -.- but then oh wells. my dad wont allow me to touch rabbits in singapore =.= dont know whats the dif though. AND HERE GOT PIGGY!! LOL. i shall upload some pictures on fb when i connect my camera to my lap. :D ah and then went out to sea today. super duper cold and freeeeeezinggg!! >.< then ate oyster! xD BBQ oyster LOL. fresh from the sea somemore! whee!

managed to buy some pretty stuff from anping just now :) love them ttm! heehee! managed to get pass these few days without being as annoyed as the first day in taiwan. xD learnt how to heck care without looking like i heck care LOL. okay whatever. i dont know what im saying either. in any case~ IM GOING TO GO HOME SOON!!! YAY!!! :DDDD LOL.

yeah im looking forward to home so much because i feel so sleep deprived. -.- someone keeps waking up at 3am every single freaking morning and make soooooooooo much noise. talk so damn loudly. I CANT SLEEEEEEEEEP == then every single thing also complain complain complain. walaooooo. just leave everyone else alone lahhh. -.-! ah wells. its alright. after this trip i just have to face her once a week.

LOL someone just mistook me as counter girl =.= im a freaking tourist blogging and slacking =_= oh wellz maybe i got the look xD can try for a reception job next time xD LOL. kidding. i then no want -.- and then some shifu said i will be a good teacher. zomg. scary. i no want to be teacher =.= i think i just find some rich guy and marry into the house and be tai tai lah LOL. wtf =.= kidding. -.- i think my mind too exhausted then anyhow think alr =.= but i dont want go back to the room sia. both of them there -.-! and then she's gonna wake up 3am again. =.=! gahhh.

oh. he came here to play his games on his ipad 2 =.= shit sia. speaking about ipad 2. mine is like a white elephant. i brought to taiwan i havent play at all == or even touched it -.- haiz -.- dont even know why he buy for me in the first place -.-

blah. its not even 9pm yet and i showered and did everything i need to do and he's already rushing me to go back to the room. tsk. AND IM NOT ALLOWED TO WALK AROUND D: HOW BORING CAN THIS GET!!!! urghhhhh. nevermind. i should go and TRY to sleep -.- right. blog next time. =_=

AND SO IT'S DAY 3

2011-12-14T23:03:00.000+08:00

WASEH THE HOTEL HERE DAMN NICE (Y) GOT HOT SPRINGS IN THE BASEMENT AND PERSONAL HOT SPRINGS IN THE ROOM SOMEMORE LOLOL okay sorry. i really love this hotel LOL. its like the bestest one i've stayed so far xD hehe!

but i still wanna go home. LOL. bleh. i bought lots of stuff~~~~ and my luggage is still not full~~~~~ xD hehehe! today went to some ulu amusement park -.- damn boring ttm. zzz and the food there sucks too zzz didnt even eat alot for lunch zzz didnt get to buy things today cos never go anywhere with alot of shops >.< but went to the earthquake exhibition today.. experienced stimulated earthquake >.< abit scary eh -.- was sitting down on the ground when experiencing.. imagine its throughout the whole area and then some walking some standing some doing random stuff then suddenly everything starts falling and collapsing. ._.

wells! of course i have tried the hot springs~ i tried the one in the room (Y) LOL and i blush HAHA! first time see my face red sia LOL 42 degrees celcius. damn hot >.< wells. i've finished packing my stuff. really. literally moving every night. -.- dont even need to unpack stuff =_=

hmm. and i have been reading my music theory today. finally understood stuff about the key signatures LOL. abit late uh but i dont care xD heehee! zomgggggg!! the baby on tv so cuuuuuuuteee!!!!!!!! xD hahahaha! sorry im like watching tv and trying to blog because i wont be able to be online for the next two days. hehe! going up to the mountains >.<

oh oh! and you know this hotel high class until what, they said if the pillows are not comfortable, just call for reception or whatever it is called, then they will bring you somewhere and you can choose from 28 different types of pillow. wth. freaking 28 types of pillows to choose from. by the time you choose finish =.= .... and then this is like the 3rd most expensive hotel in this area somemore o.o oh yah. im at the sun moon lake :D and it costs 8k++ per night taiwan currency. then the most expensive hotel is like US$1000 per night. =_= insane sia ==

have been keeping myself occupied these days :D snapping random shots here and there LOL. ridiculous like shit -.- okay i dont know why but im feeling sleepy today -.- shall blog when im back in SG or something.. and both of them are snoring =_= haiz my sleep tonight -.- gonna be broken again =.= let this few days pass quickly please then i can go home and sleep peacefully ==! goodnight people!

I SURVIVED DAY 2

2011-12-13T23:03:00.001+08:00

oh wth. why am i the only one awake again. -.- its like an hour earlier than ytd too! tsk! whats with them. zzz. and anyways.. yeah. i survived today. barely. at least i ran off awhile. sometimes. by myself. and feel better LOL. zomg. i think im gonna be a loner in society -.-

wells!~ today mostly just buying stuff for people i love! <3 actually i dont keep track of what i buy i just see and grab and buy LOL. gg. i dont even know i buy what for who now -.- but nevermind. i shall buy many stuff :D its better to buy more than buy less xD hahaha i really spending my dad's money like nobody's business LOL. oh! and i got a new hat!! :D :D yay! my second hat~ :D hehe! now i can wear that hat and stalk ppl LOL. kidding! MAYBE i might upload the pict cos of the hat LOL. its really cool!! :D:D:D whee!

okay. i dont get whats the whole fuss about sleeping now when it's more than an hour earlier than yesterday. but its really annoying me. and i dont know when i can online and rant because we are changing hotels every night from tmr. =.= so exciting -.- hope i survive the rest of the trip. wanted to blog more but some people is just so annoying. tsk. alright. next time then =.= night people!

ITS ONLY DAY 1

2011-12-12T23:48:00.000+08:00

AND I WANT TO GO HOME SO BADLY :(

SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME :(

blah. this trip was supposed to be for me to clear my mind. but i ended up thinking alot more and then at the same time being annoyed more easily =.= pfft. for the whole day today i was actually thinking how nice it would be to come here with my friends instead of.. them. blah. dont know what has gotten into me. probably feeling tired thats why. and my phone is freaking useless here. and my mac is totally useless too. and i have to end up using my dad's lap. freak. ah whatever. imma gonna delete all the history after this anyways. well. i did take alot of pictures. and they were all random and stupid shots of nothing LOL. like just snap snap snap and snap. so shall not post until i get a nice one. -.-

anyways... yeah. i dont exactly know what im expecting either. but i just feel disappointed. -.- okay actually i do know what i wanted. i wanted to just freely walk around and try everything i want to try at that moment. =.= but then... gah. i dont know :/ thats why i hate obligations. tsk. but the good thing about coming to taiwan is that i feel like im home. LOL. well. kind of. i feel that i wont get lost. even though im only here for the first time i think im quite zai. LOL. and yeah i got kind of irritated when she kept going on about being late and going the wrong way. -.- feel kind of bad about that now. haiz.

i just wanna go home and sleep now -.- ahhhhhhhhhh!! feeling so restless. its like 10:45pm now and i still havent shower. am still eating also. LOL. eating and blogging. the degree of desperation to going home. -.- haiz. meh. maybe i shall blog later. both of them nagging at me to shower. blah. dont know why i feel so annoyed. tsk. :/

GOODBYE MY DEAR BLOG FOR A WEEK (MAYBE)

2011-12-10T23:56:00.001+08:00

yes i'll be flying off to taiwan on monday morning. and i may not be blogging tmr because of the excessive mapling i've been doing lately. and i may be able to blog in taiwan depending on whether my dad buys the internet thingy for taiwan or not. so yes. maybe :D

sigh! its holidays and im sighing. why oh why~ hasnt life been good up till now? no academic stress or what so ever? mapling the whole day today. leveled 3 times! 61 now :D hoho! im gonna chiong more tmr! then can make up for my 1 week of disappearance :D sian. i dont know why but i feel so darn sian. dont even feel like disturbing dong now. just wanna rant on and on about nothing. -.-

dont understand why people pack so early prior to the trip. cant stand it -.- i do that and i kept feeling so paranoid like i missed out something. zzz. and my dad has been annoying me to do so. blah. so i just did a little. planning to do everything tmr. :D and tmr is a free day. i have nothing on. for once.

oh yes. and so i went to malaysia. yesterday. and then went to did a little trimming to my hair here and there. shall go to the same place to do my hair next time. thats the only place which the person understands what im trying to say =.= got two pair of new specs.. shall switch according to my mood xD hehe! but the bad thing about one of them is that. its pink -.- so annoying. -.- its either pink or purple and my dad chose pink =_= ah wells. its rare he allows me to make a more expensive specs so.. so be it~ =.= almost went to vic's house to overnight last night. decided not to because i want to finish my prez for cher and do at least abit of the homework. LOL. and yes she didnt scold me xD thankfully :D hehe! she still smiled and said a little bit is better than nothing xD heehee! lucky me :P but sadly. i had to restart my music theory all over from scratch :/ i practically forgot everything and then i spent $30.45 on theory stuff -.- zzz my money =.=

and so! i've mapled the whole day today. literally. with dong and song. excluding the times when i was out. when im home. im on maple (Y) actually. its quite tiring LOL. its abit sian. but nearing the time i was logging off i suddenly didnt want to log off LOL. meh. dad has been pestering me to sleep for over an hour and i didnt bother about him at all and continued mapling LOL. and he got mad so i switched off my lights and hid under my blankets to play till i leveled to 61 xD and tbh im still hiding under my blanket now LOL. have been doing so quite often these days. :D for the sake of staying up late during the holidays xD hehe!

sigh. i suppose it's really hopeless. even though dong says its alright to change my mind now.. i dont exactly want to. :/ i suppose. such things really cant be controlled after all. oh wells. i shall just look forward to the taiwan trip and clear my mind for a week. if i can.

RAWR! i havent been writing lately!!! D: must be the holidays! tsk! its always like that in the holidays! pfft! when i go to taiwan i must write everyday! >:( or at least every other day. -.- maybe because i didnt write thats why im feeling so restless these days.. -.- yeah must be that =.= gah. dont even know what to blog now. i think i really have no life. zzz oh wells. im quite sleepy now actually. dont know why. -.- prolly cos of the excessive mapling lolol. and i must really do something about my room after i get back from taiwan. -.- its really.... =.= nevermind. i shall not elaborate further and leave it up to your imaginations =.= hoping that my trip will be a nice one this time. dont know why i really dont look forward to it. despite getting an opportunity to take the plane =.= haiz. whatever happened to me now zzz why am i like thaaaat. raahhhh. okay. i shall look forward to everything. no matter what. == ... if i can =_=

blah. i think im starting to speak weirdly again. shall shut up. blog next time!

SERIOUSLY.

2011-12-08T19:52:00.001+08:00

happy pills. LOL.

what the hell is wrong with you two? you are practically next to each other and yet. you didnt bother to just talk to each other. wtf is wrong? will talking to each other kill you? i mean sure you two arent on the best of terms. but wth. is this the way you are going to continue living for the rest of your lives? i will not complain to any of you about this because i've done it once and it turned out ugly and i'm never ever going to do it again. but seriously? not talking to each other ever again? i wonder if its even possible when you two are living under the same roof. imagine if i had to go overseas for my university. hah. see how you'll cope. humph. blah. im just trying to rant. cos. im really so frustrated with the fact that i had to be the middle man for the smallest things in the world. its really annoying. -.- cant believe im getting annoyed over such stuff zzz my patience is getting from bad to worse. zzz maybe its the holidays. or maybe its just today. i hope -.-

well. okay i really dont know whats so interesting about all my nonsense that you all take your time to read -.- but okay -.-

ANYWAYS!! HAH! I DID IT! i got more than 95% for each freaking booklet i did this morning!! HAHA! okay wait. to be exact it's AT LEAST 95% xD first three booklets i got 99% and the last one i got 95% :DDDD I AM SO PRO!~ LOL. okay i dont know if i can maintain this standard after my trip. *crosses fingers* heehee! dont even know why i'm happy LOL. saw a cj girl at the driving centre sitting in front of me too :D but i dunno who she is LOL. oh wells im anti social after all xD hehe!

i finally have maple in my laptop! :D and i've started to game! like finally >:D and just when i have to start preparing for my trip to taiwan -.- pfft! in any case! i've leveled up twice! whee! 55 now~ xD shall try to chiong this time. must not keep creating new characters though its more fun :P lalala! am currently in holiday mood LOL. and to tell you the truth. i havent packed my room :D xD it's still as messy as always xD with loads of worksheets and books all thrown around LOL. and plus now it's holidays. i keep going out. so i started to throw my bags all over the floor too xD LOL. okay. i'll clean it up i swear. just not now xD

will be going in to malaysia tmr! time to make my new specs >:D realized i've been using my specs for more than 1 and a half year for both my red one and my current one. amazing. i used to keep changing my specs -.- like my house open specs shop like that -.- still got many spec boxes in my room due to that period of time =.= I HAVE MADE UP MY MIND TO SPEND MY DAD'S MONEY TMR IN MALAYSIA. LOL. kidding -.- i shall leave it for taiwan xD HAHA! shall buy cute stuff for everyone! hehe!

oh and i havent done my music homework. i just remembered. -.- and tmr i'll be out. zzz okay. i shall do it saturday morning! LOL. gg. im gonna get slaughtered by my cher. and i also havent done her prezzie O.O omg. why have i stopped making my prezzies!! okay. i shall stop blogging before i start listing out more things i havent done and go maple. LOL. no link but yeah xD hehe level 56 here i come!! :DDDDDD

HOW CAN I MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND THEM?

2011-12-07T18:53:00.001+08:00

LOL i still cant get over the fact that i actually wore dress/skirt for 3 days in a row since my birthday. -.- yucks. == anyways! I PASSED EVERYTHING TODAY! and i finished all 4 booklets!! LOL and the highest i got was 97% mwahaha i got a good feeling about this :D hope i can pass my evaluation one time then do my test in jan and pass it one time and then im can move on to ftt -.- rawr! i just wanna drive why got so many annoying steps one! tsk and then need to pay so much somemore. blaaahhh!

anyways~ im downloading maple now. LOL. im finally attempting to start gaming. i think i'll be gaming alot after i come back from taiwan. maybe. LOL. and cant wait to come back from taiwan actually! will be having harry potter marathon and swimming dates with grace and htht dates with huangyu! :D heehee!

had a nap from about 2 plus till 5 plus.. dreamt again. oh wells. its fine now i suppose. shall not brood over whats not supposed to be mine in the first place. rawwrrrrr im so dead bored :( no one to disturb these days. -.- and i wanna find michhh!! zomgggg. and i havent packed my stuff for my taiwan trip (Y) and i know. im just rambling here because im really really really bored. i think once maple is done i shall just chiong maple. -.- bth alr. zz.

just blogging cos i had nothing to do. didnt do anything today. feel damn tired. wanna game. no games to play. fail. aiyah. i dont know. just feeling restless -.- raahhhhhhhhhh -.- fine. i shall shut up. shall not blog meaningless stuff -.- need to go for the practice again tmr. -.- hope i can get above 95% for all booklets. -.-

HAVE A FUN AND SAFE TRIP GUYS!

2011-12-06T23:16:00.001+08:00

i dont know if anyone of you will see but still, enjoy yourselves and take care of yourselves and your belongings alright!

right. im supposed to upload prom photos today but i got cheated by my camera so yah, i'll do it tmr. LOL. and yes! i would like to thank [in random order not very accurate] kaixin, suizheng, song, dong, chwan, huangyu, yihan, justin, clarissa, michelle, kor, hui, jing & szeyang for remembering my birthday and texting me! :D and i also would like to thank kaixin, suizheng, song, kor, brandon, vicky, xinyi, ah ma, keith, dasol, dalton, gahfai, ivan, szejen, er shen shen, benedict, yingwei, marina, yuveen, xin & jing for remembering my birthday and posting on my facebook wall! :D hehe! and of course those awesome people who made my 18th birthday so so so memorable! :D heehee!

and prom... was yesterday. right. LOL. kind of time lag. slept at 2 plus last night woke up at 6 plus today. LOL. cos i was really scared i will be late for my first driving basic theory practice >.< i think i did quite well today even though i failed 2 out of 3 booklets HAHA! eh! im not lousy okay! the passing percentage is freaking 90% okay! tsk! and the 2 that i failed i got above 85% okay! and i didnt study also hor! LOL. gg. xD oh wells! it was quite interesting actually. haha its nice to study something that is not school-related. :D i mean i wont mind if its math xD haha! yes im as biased towards math as usual~ xD

so! yesterday. hmm. i wore the highest heels i've ever had. really. i didnt even know how to walk in heels in the first place LOL. and i wore heels that are freaking high. even higher that grace's and thiri's -.- and then... i went over to grace's house and had lunch with vicky vincent and grace. hahaha! vincent was so awkward xD heehee! and then after that me and vicky went over to grace's house to get my nails done as i tutor vicky amath. hahaha! taught her matrix and a teeny weeny bit of surds :D its so exciting that i get to touch amath again! hahaha! maybe i should just work as a part time tutor for amath LOL. like he will allow~ oh wells! i still have my blings on my nails!! :D i cant bear to take them off actually HAHA! because i know once i take them off i wont be having any blings for a long long loooonnnggg time! then at 3 plus we got permission for vicky to hang over at grace's house from her mom then me and grace changed.. and her sis did our hair while her mom did our make up. LOL. it was kind of freaky because at first i told her mom said i dont want to put make up. then when her sis was doing my hair i couldnt move, she just came at me LOLOL. like bam. there powder on your face. you cant do anything but sit there and let me do your make up or else you'll look weird. HAHA! well.. tbh. i was and i still am uncomfortable with make up -.- and then i became so self conscious and i felt super super nervous. -.- yupp. dinner and activities were the common ones. then. phototaking.. LOL. oh ya i remembered something. i was taking photo with mr Y and suddenly he asked, you didnt come with your boyfriend? LOL then at that time there were only thiri me and him. HAHA! then both me and thiri's reactions were exactly the same like. huh? what? LOL. then he started talking about how everyone else tells him i have a boyfriend. hahaha! then i still gave that blank look xD then he went on saying that people were saying there's this guy staying back together with me everyday until late at night to study etc.. and then suddenly both me and thiri went OHHH!! LOL. he was talking about chan haha! then yeah obviously we told him there's nothing going on between us and yeah that was about it. OH YES AND THIRI LOOKED DAMN HOT! :DDD hahaha! i kept going round telling that to everyone i know xD heehee! yeah i showed my mom the photos and she had comments about it. but i dont care LOL. blah. i have my reasons for doing so anyways. she wont understand so tada! i think prom is just a night for me to wear a dress and go round taking pictures with everyone. because everything else in between are just boring for me. i got so bored that i started reading manga and texting people -.- blah. was quite tired too. and uncomfortable =.= and nervous (throughout the whole event -.-) feel like an idiot. -.- everyone looked like some idol and i just went like that =.= gah. nevermind. i dont regret going that way anyway. dont have to spend so much :D

okay. thats about it. yes. my life is quite boring. okay maybe not boring. its just. i can ramble on and on about nothing but when i try to talk about something it becomes very short. =.= so yeah. -.- and i should go to sleep because its midnight now. =.= and i still have to wake up tmr for the driving basic theory practice. lolol kind of enjoy it :D heehee! alrighty! once again! hope those guys will enjoy their trip! :D will be alone in singapore... guys in genting. thiri's going back soon. grace's going malaysia soon. maaaaaan. haha! kidding! alright imma gonna sleep now! night people! :D

BECAUSE

2011-12-06T00:39:00.001+08:00

Nobody understands. Even if they try to, they will never be able to. Therefore there is no need for me to explain myself. If you trust me, there shouldn't be any problems at all. If you don't then too bad for you. I don't really give a damn anymore :)

Prom was awesome tonight. Shall blog more next time. Exhausted -.-

ONE MORE HOUR LEFT.

2011-12-03T23:00:00.000+08:00

the first day of my 18th year. have been doing alot of thinking today. yeah. 18 is bittersweet just like my december 2011. many awesome things today <3 and yet many.. disappointing things too. alright! i shall just rant here for today! so it is a mixture of awesome things <3 and some not-so-nice stuff.

in the morning i woke up at 7am~ (even earlier than him!) and once he woke up i went "red packet please" LOL. freaking hilarious. and he stared at me and went like. okay you give my $600 for the ipad first. LOL. wth! i didnt even ask him to get it for me in the first place but nonetheless i still do appreciate the thought alright. then i got bored. so i spammed dong. LOL. and he really woke up HAHA! poor dong. everyday get bullied by me. hahaha! sorry dong! but im still going to continue anyway xD and then he told me liau will be going for lunch together in the afternoon. walao! then make me kanchiong because i didnt do prezzie for him cos i was thinking that i wont be seeing him and will be unable to pass it to him then dong come tell me! then end up he didnt even turn up. ah well. anyways! then yah. i spent about an hour doing the prezzie for liau. then i called vicky <3 and we went to the coffee shop near her house for breakfast!! :D and people were staring at me -.- wth. make me self conscious because im wearing a skirt which is so rare. gahhh! right. then after that i went to the driving centre! then i realized i need my ic and i still left it in my pencil case since A levels LOL. so had to go home to get it. wanted to go tmr instead. but someone forced me to go today. and someone forced me to go to the bank together and wasted my life there. i was fine initially. really. until someone's mood went sour just because of waiting for his queue number. so what if you got priority banking. the staff are human too. and there are freaking so many people in there. what do you want them to do? you think you are the king of the world and everyone has to stop to serve you? tskkk. and then i was late for 30 minutes. tsk. but nonetheless. i was cheered up quite easily at that time because i was looking forward to lunch hehe! then was about to go and find them then saw tun and chi~ so i just hanged out with them as tun draw his money xD then.. going up to find them i saw grace and hteik. and you know. THEY RAN AWAY. LOL. wth. -.- then yeah we went to souel garden. i forgot how its spelt actually but whatever -.- then we ate! LOL duh. and my son is so sweet! haha! he keep giving me food. LOL but he dont let me cook!!! >.< i take the giap thingy (or tongs or whatever it is called) and i wanted to cook and then he snatch the thing away from me and give me more food LOL. and then my table got ALOT of meat. LOL. shit. im gonna go fat. like really hahaha! then our table is the messy one. as compared to chan's table LOL okay so my table got me my son tun dong and dalton while the other table got chan chi grace and hteik. k look. obviously, the messier table is the table im sitting at. LOL.

okay then. tun did alot of weird stuff HAHA! he eats prawns together with the shell HAHA! and then i dont know what stuff. and my son was like always pointing out stuff that make him seem like he's the weird one at our table HAHAHA! anyway it was really fun! and after everyone's almost done eating MY 18TH BIRTHDAY CAKE CAME!!! :DDDD zomg i didnt expect the cake like seriously. cos no one did that for me before LOL. i didnt know how to react actually hahaha! and then suddenly it hit me. like OH thats why they were running away from me just now LOL. yes im slow. but whatever xD really happy that i got a cake with lighted candles to make wishes! hahaha! yupp then we ate the cake.. fooled around abit more.. took a group shot.. then went to pay. LOL. okay i dont have the group shot (again -.-) but this time it's with grace haha! think she'll upload it soon! :D then went to k with grace and hteik~ chan didnt want to come D: and the others have stuff so yepp its the three of us! but by that time i was so filled with love and happiness that i felt like hugging everyone HAHAHA! but aiyoh. it was awkward >.< so i ended up only hugging grace and hteik. well. guys. you do understand right. LOL. then... exactly at 4. I RAN TO MY MUSIC LESSON. LOL. i reached there panting like hell and realized i wasnt late. LOL. freak. feel like a retard LOLOL. and teacher bought me a mini cake!! :D haha! yay! then.. went for dinner at IMM. it was.. super. disappointing. like really. i dont know whats wrong with my family. i dont get it. i really and truly felt happy that everyone's gathered together for dinner. like really everyone. no one's missing. except for her. but thats another story. why did they have to. gah. cant they just put the past behind and cherish the present!! this is so darn annoying! and whut. people treating you to dinner and you didnt say thanks and complained instead? please. i know you are an adult and its not really nice of me to say such things seeing that im only a kid. but. please. i beg of you. not everyone is rich. so what if its pepperlunch? at least its not some hawker food? or would you all rather go to the hawker centre? im sure he would prefer that. please do not put words into my mouth and say or even assume that i love pepperlunch when you havent even talked to me. or even going further by saying im stingy for choosing to treat you dinner at pepperlunch. this is so frustrating. i did not choose anything. i wasnt given a choice. i wasnt the one. i dont want to push the blame to him. but he was the one who did all the planning. i tried to change his mind about the location and he was the one who insisted on everything. but i do not blame him because i understand. having to pay for 21 people is not an easy thing. not especially when you are not filthy rich like some people. i personally would have preferred other places. restaurants or something. but i dont have the ability or right to choose. and also. it is just me who is willing to spend more for others. not him. today he's the one treating. so i kept quiet. but you all just kept saying that im stingy? i mean. sure maybe it was just at that moment thingy or joke or whatever. but i can fucking sense it. especially her. i really love her. really. but. yes. but. she. cannot put the past behind her. she just keeps going on and on about the bad stuff she remembers about someone. its my birthday cant you just let me be happy for that few hours with you? you can scold me for my messed up room as much as you like after my birthday. i mean. i know you care. but can you just think for a moment and not crush my happy mood given to me by my awesome friends? please? i'll like to declare something. all these thoughts. i admit. they are in my head. but i still do respect them. really. its just sometimes it gets so frustrating. so. please. if i offended anyone. im sorry. forgive me. because they are truly and honestly my thoughts and feelings today. but thank goodness vicky was there. and victor too. and there's food. so yes. i managed to scrape through dinner without showing any signs of unhappiness. but im really thankful for today. really. i understand that since there's happiness, there would too be unhappiness. so im alright. i just had to rant it out somewhere.

and probably time to let some things go too. im not sure if i can. but im still trying. well. with such awesome friends, i believe i can do it. haha the girls are super cute. they got angry instead of me hahaha! thanks girls! love you! <3 well. i actually expected it. but i still hoped. and yes. disappointment is now my new best friend. LOL. but yeah im kind of used to it. so. yeah hi new best friend. shall do a letter on my wordpress and gather my thoughts and feelings soon! haha! havent been there for some time and im slowly decreasing my addiction to tumblr. and... hmm. actually. thats about it. LOL. i think. oh and yes. im really filled with love, happiness and appreciation for the 8 of them today. haha even though i did it on facebook i shall do it here! :D similar but different. now its gonna be LONGER HAHAHAHA! well, here goes~

I HAD AN AWESOME 18TH BIRTHDAY! IT IS MADE POSSIBLE BECAUSE OF AWESOME PEOPLE LIKE GRACE, THIRI, DONG, MY SON, CHAN, TUN, CHI AND DALTON! REALLY REALLY REALLY HAPPY TODAY BECAUSE OF THEM! <3

SPECIAL THANKS TO

GRACE

I LOVE YOU MY DEAR! firstly! thank you so much! thank you for the cake, the presents, the lunch, the k, the time you took out to spend with me and all the wonderful times & for being there for me! <3 really. words are not enough to describe what im feeling now. haha! but really! im so so so so glad that i have you and hteik with me! <3 I LOVE YOU!

HTEIK

HI LOVE! thank you for taking time out and for all the hugs you've given me! hehe hugs from you are so so so precious! <3 thank you for the awesome presents too! :DDD I WILL BUY SOMETHING VERY CUTE FOR YOU FROM TAIWAN OKAY! HAHA! I LOVE YOU DEAR! <3

DONG

well done boy! haha thank you for everything :D today was really really awesome! :D thank you for the lunch, present, card and everything you've done to make today so so so awesome! haha! though i know your secret uhhh!! hahahaha! but really thanks alot :D hehe

MY SON <3

THANKS SON! FOR TAKING SUCH GOOD CARE OF ME JUST NOW <3 hahaha! you are really really really sweet! :D heehee! WE SHALL GO OUT AGAIN SOON SOON SOON OKAY!! LOVE YOU!

CHAAAAAAAAAAN!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING EVEN THOUGH YOU SAID YOU COULDNT COME! HAHA! really really really glad that you came! :DDD OH AND YOU SHALL SING FOR ME WHEN WE MEET AGAIN! YOU OWE ME THAT MUCH FOR REJECTING MY INVITATION TO K JUST NOW! HAHAHA! okay kidding! but really ah! sing and let me listen kay!! hahaha!

TUN

HI TUN! THANK YOU FOR TAKING TIME AND COMING FOR LUNCH TODAY! :D thank you for looking out for me and helping to cook the food! haha! really enjoyed my lunch cos you were there hehe!

CHI!~

THANK YOU CHI! FOR COMING TODAY AND ALSO FOR THE DRINKS! LOL. okay i really feel very bad for asking you to help with the drinks >.< really! sorry chi! >.< hope you enjoyed yourself though :D haha! thank you once again! :D

DALTON

HEY DUDE! THANKS FOR COMING DOWN TO CLEMENTI ALL THE WAY FROM EUNOS! REALLY REALLY APPRECIATE IT! :D and we should eat souel garden together more often! HAHA! because you can cook (well kind of LOL) and because we can eat alot~ HAHA! xD

AND THANK YOU GUYS FOR THE CARD! <3 &&hope you all liked the prezzie~ :D

TODAY WAS REALLY SUPER DUPER AWESOME! THANKS GUYS FOR MAKING MY 18TH BIRTHDAY SO WONDERFULLY AWESOME! LOVE YOU ALL! <3 :DDDDD YOU ALL REALLY MADE MY DAY! HAHA! okay i shall say my thanks to people who remembered my birthday tmr. im really tired now hahaha! tmr another day with the girls!! <3 cant wait! :D i think this is like one of the longest post like ever because from 11pm i typed till now 1:40am. LOL. okay i really should sleep HAHA! yes!! im happy~ :D goodnight world!! <3 <3

要把 HISTORY 改写成 HERSTORY - SHERO ♥

2011-12-02T20:59:00.001+08:00

have been in stone mode ever since about... 4 plus. yes. i supposed its cos i saw them and then suddenly reality hit me. because the time to execute my decision is nearing. dont even know why im hesitating or unwilling now. screw it. no. its not that im going back on my word now. i will still carry on. just feeling uneasy. ... ah whatever. im used to things like that anyways. blah.

alright! today was fun! and yes the word fun came out again! haha! well... we went to far east. then walked for like 2~3 hours? haha but yupp we found dress for hteik! :D and then we cabbed to jurong point and i watched the two eat swensens LOL. yeah its abit depressing because i have to eat dinner at my aunt's house. but oh wells. i have my still couzzies ♥ :D okay i guess. thats all for today. because. i guess. i just had to rant somewhere about my stone mode zz and precisely because its stone mode i dont really feel like ranting so much. zzz. gah. girl you are turning 18 in 3 hours please grow up. or rather please dont grow up. aiyoh. i also dunno what i saying now. gah. gotta go chiong finish all the prezzies stuff. dont know if i can finish on time. meeting them 11am at boon lay mrt tmr. i think. and sian. im wearing a skirt tmr. grace -.- haiz. okok off i go.

LEFT WITH PACKAGING&STUFF <3

2011-12-01T15:52:00.001+08:00

MY FAVOURITE MONTH OF THE YEAR IS HERE ♥

2011-12-01T11:53:00.000+08:00

YAY! ITS DECEMBER! :D december this year is kind of... hmm.. bittersweet? LOL. first time using that word but anyways! yupp thats totally it :D ah wells! ah. i wanted to blog about many things but then! i forgot what i wanted to blog about. LOL. dang! im getting old -.- oh oh! i remember! i didnt blog yesterday!! LOL. okay. because for the first time i woke up after 10am unknowingly. -.- usually i would just sleep past 10 on purpose -.- okay actually thats not really the main reason xD i was busy~ busy cutting my flesh LOL. okay kidding. thats what i told song but lalala! okay this is a previlage for those who come to my blog. i shall give you a sneak peek of what i have been up to and my progress so far! :D though i doubt any of the people will come so lalala~ heehee! okay and pardon my messy bed :D

oh wells! i know my art aint thaaaaat great. but eh eh! im trying!! -.- ah wells! dont even know if they will like it. still have about 3 to 4 more to go! still wondering if i should add more stuff to them. or just leave it like that >.< and after one whole day of consideration. LOL. i've decided to not do anything special for prom :D i'll still go with grace and hteik but i'll just watch them do their stuff xD wont be spending any money for it except shoes cos. well. i cant fit my old one anymore -.- dang. -.- and i'll just be my daddy's good girl and go home straight after prom. -.- not like i can do anything about it since he's insisting to send me there and pick me up from there~

maybe i'll just put a "december 2011" at the bag of the tags LOL. damned. my laziness is going to take over soon. rawwwrrr!! oh yes! and i've come up with a must-do list! :D

-Prezzies! (the taggies :D)
-Pack my room!!
-Highway code!
-Languages languages languages! [Japanese & Italian]
-Drums and/or Guitar!

and then i cut down so many things that i wanna do :( it was a very long long long list at first! gah! but due to budget and time constraint. -.- oh wells. nevermind. all these are enough! imma gonna go to the driving centre this sat! the first thing to do on my first day of my 18th year! hah! yes! driving driving driving~ wheee! LOL. okay im like zi-high-ing xD oh wells~

im going out to jurong point tmr! to do dress hunting for the girls ♥ hehe! its gonna be fun!~ LOL. i realize i've been saying that quite alot recently xD seems to me that everything is gonna be fun LOL okay thats retarded~ :D but lalala! as long as im enjoying myself~ :D im actually blogging in the car now xD well! im bored anyways! im supposed to look after the car with nothing to do~ what more can you expect. with opened windows i cant sing out loud either. THERES PEOPLE WALKING. LOL. okay i dont know why i capped that but yes THERES PEOPLE WALKING. xD RAWR okay shit. im getting high hahaha! and yes blogging makes me look normal because im just typing. and singing makes me look like i came out from IMH :D though i dont mind xD but for my dad, i shall be normal :D and i dont know what im rambling about too xD

oh fine! i shall stop talking shit and just end here. -.- my mac's heating up rawr.

oh and.

p/s: dear december, I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! ♥ :D PLEASE BE AS AWESOME AS ALWAYS! LOVE YOU xoxo :D

AWESOME DAY. REALLY AWESOME. :D

2011-11-29T22:35:00.001+08:00

okay fine. i admit. i was a teeny weeny disappointed. but screw that -.- TODAY IS TOTALLY AWESOME! i got blister from ice skating HAHA! its the biggest blister i've ever got xD heehee! well! after school thiri grace and i cabbed to kallang :D and then we changed and went straight to the rink! it was fun!! :D and two hours just flew by like that >.< aww. but anyways the guys came about half an hour later than us and it was so hilarious watching them trying to keep their balance in the rink xD hahaha! and dong becomes an AS because he's an Awkward Skater who crashed so many times because he was going so damn fast and he couldnt control xD HAHA! noob! :D first day of holiday go injure his wrist LOL joke xD wells~ it was fun~ then after that went to jp with grace and thiri! collected our stuff and had dinner! then i had to rush home -.- ah thats the not so nice part too. but i shall leave that out :D

i cant believe a person who rambles alot like me managed to summarize so much fun in that tiny paragraph of words. LOL. ah well! okay actually i left out quite alot of details. LOL. but nevermind~ they are all our own to enjoy heehee! okay i dont have a group picture cos it's with chan so here's everyone who went today! :D

LOL it was funny taking picture on the train hahaha! but i like this picture! yay! :D well~ thats all for today i guess. im kind of tired and i have LOADS to do tmr and the day after! well! i dont know if i will be able to finish it.. >.< but!! i'll try my best!! :D shall go and sleep now! ohh! and all the best for ahem-you-should-know-who-you-are for your upcoming exams!! LOL. feel honoured ah! haha! study hard while i play hard alright!! xD ah well your turn will come soon~ SOON but not yet xD ahahaa okok i shall stop xD goodnight! :D

I REALLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND MYSELF

2011-11-28T22:14:00.001+08:00

-.-

whatever. i just cant understand myself. i mean sure. decision has been made and all. and this is the final stretch and all. it feels too. impossible. and i cant understand why the hell am i like that. its so so so super frustrating that. i cant study at all today. and tmr is the last paper.

quite desperate to focus. sigh. i dont think i can sleep either. im tired but. cant fall asleep. its not that i dont look forward to tmr. i just cant feel the sense of excitement i felt earlier on. sigh. i mean we are going ice skating and all. its going to be so exciting and all. but i feel zero excitement right now. rawr. something is really wrong with me. sigh.

dont even know why im feeling this way. got to find a way to enjoy my last few days of 17. i guess. i know why. but. it shouldnt even be a reason for me to feel this way in the first place. because the decision is made. so yeah. it shouldnt. i shouldnt even be feeling so much. emotions. kay maybe i should. but ah. whatever.

okay. i admit. im blogging now because i dont feel like writing and yet this doesnt exactly satisfy my cravings of ranting because its kind of restrictive. blah. me and my logic. sigh.

nah. dont worry. i'll be fine. as if anyone will worry about me. but in any case, i'll be fine. i should be fine. the holidays is just this tiny small step away. dont give up now. after tmr you can burn your books or make your room rain with papers or whatever. just dont stop now.

meh. and then i start talking to myself trying to convince myself. this is stupid. -.- right. maybe blogging with this state of mind and mood isnt really the best idea. gah. so tired. should i just leave everything for tmr? :/ yeah. probably. with whatever's in my head now. its impossible to get anything in. A levels please be fine. hope he recovers soon though its kind of nice that he's not feeling well now cos he doesnt really have the energy to restrict me and all... okay thats not very nice. blaaahhh! i should shut up. just let him recover asap. and let me successfully carry out my decision. and let me hang in there till 3pm tmr. then i can just go wild or break down or faint or whatever alright. just. hang in there.

I KNOW ITS NOT GOOD BUT STILL. SIGH.

2011-11-27T21:44:00.001+08:00

yeah. keep telling myself to not to feel down these days because its the last two papers and its not really nice to affect other people with my own worries and stuff.... :/ but i really dont get it. i really wonder what is going through their minds. why one moment they can be all lovey dovey with you and so good friends with you and the next they are all going back on their words. are all adults like this? i dont want to grow up to be like them. where's all the trust and understanding that we built up all these years? i mean sure i understand that you are all worried and stuff like that.. or maybe not. but still. that doesnt give you the reason to doubt others or even not keeping your words. sigh. i dont know. im really frustrated now. especially when i dont feel prepared for paper tmr and with whats going on now. really. i hope this will be over soon and my 18th year would be an awesome year.

and so! went to grace's house! planned to go out cycling this tuesday!! :D cant wait! havent cycled for a long time! heehee! ah man. why am i getting ahead of time again. tmr is physics paper 1!!! :( havent been feeling well lately but i guess with whats going on now.. no one would even notice. oh wait. actually she noticed and i really love her for that. my beloved godmother that is <3 i guess everyone else is just too caught up with whats going on. blah. its fine. i have her and vicky and grace and thiri and victor and etc etc many awesome people. yeah. so exhausted now. sigh.

well anyways.. told vicky and grace about my grand decision about what i will be doing on my birthday. :) well! i think it should be alright. yeah. though it's abit kind of not very well planned~ but in any case! i've prepared myself really well~ :D kay. shall not crap so much here. should probably go and rest or do more physics. ...

I MET A FREAK TODAY IN JE LIBRARY

2011-11-26T18:10:00.001+08:00

LOL! ahem-someone-ahem is a freak! LOL. stalk ppl until JE library somemore!! tsk tsk tsk! go library mug. looking forward to exams somemore. tsk. a total freak. even grace thinks that you are a freak. tsk tsk tsk. *shakes head* LOL. okay sorry. I WAS SURPRISED OKAY! LOL. come so late somemore! i going out slack alr then come -.- oh wells~

AND I SPENT LOADS OF MONEY TODAY AGAIN! i bought what i wasnt supposed to buy LOL. and i'm going to buy something else that im not supposed to buy again soon. :D whee! cant wait! i'm almost done with my own birthday present for myself! LOL. shit. im a weirdo. hahaha! only i buy present for myself xD okay tbh this is my first time. so yah. IT DOESNT MATTER~~ hehe! and i finished 2.5 physics paper 1 in 2 hours plus. and damned i failed -.- gg -.- tmr whole day going into mugger mode already. though im going to grace's house again i think. LOL. dont know if can mug there xD hehe!

NEXT WEEK IS A BUSY WEEK!! last day of exam going out with the girls. then one day going for a date with huangyu <3 then one whole day stay home. compulsory-stay-home-day. one day go jurong point with grace&hteik for shopping for 5th december. one day celebration. one day must die die finish what i must do. tskkk. AND I GOT 4 MUSIC HOMEWORK TODAYY!!! RAWRRR!

haha apparently i'm feeling better today :D after making that fateful decision and all those events happening at home and stuff~~ well~ anyways~ YESTERDAY WAS AWESOME. and victor is damn pro -.- wth. even im stunned. HE CAN PLAY THE PIANO SO DAMNED FAST WITH HIS TINY CUTE HANDS!!!!! GAAAHHHH! LOL. okay i dont know lah. i just dont get to see him practise the piano often and so yah i dont exactly know his progress xD nananana~ damned! im excited for next week! my so busy week! looking forward to the compulsory-stay-home-day especially! going to lock myself in the room! :D alright alright~ im starting to bullshit again. LOL. tsk. bad habit. i shall be a good girl and go do my MCQs. if not i will die -.- i think -.-

well anyways.. NEXT WEEK PLEASE FASTER COME!! :D

AT JE LIBRARY NAO

2011-11-26T10:30:00.001+08:00

aye! he finally finally doesnt say anything about me being at JE library. :D am with grace nao~ <3 well yes i'm supposed to be studying but i guess. i dont feel like studying -.- meh. but i will. later -.- had an awesome day out yesterday with people i love :D did loads of walking too! and spent loads of money -.- okay its dangerous to keep going out like that -.- but oh wells its fun :D and vicky is so super cute!! <3 she with her braids and her skirt~ :D heehee! she's awesome ^^ ah well~ havent been in the mood to exactly blog these days. sjp. blah. nevermind. it'll be fine. aye. muggers all around here. and i feel bad for slacking already. zz fine. mcq. lets go -.-

OH I DONT KNOW

2011-11-25T23:29:00.001+08:00

maybe i'll always be that insignificant and all.
or maybe i'll just vanish into thin air and no one notices.
i'm having weird thoughts these days.
dont know.

decision made yet not really firm with it.

so tired yet unable to fall asleep.

nerve wrecking days.

even though today was fun. many things are constantly on my mind.

unable to really enjoy myself thoroughly.

hope i'll sleep tonight.

hope that tmr will be a better day.

remember to smile.

goodnight.

WHAT IF...

2011-11-24T11:54:00.001+08:00

~~what if tomorrow, i'm left all alone, what should i do?~~

~~what if i die tomorrow? will anyone even realise that im gone?~~

~~fuck. screw life.~~

meh. i guess. things just happen. cant believe i actually worried that much. sucks. actually. nevermind. dont really feel like rambling today.

just.

please let everything be fine.

DONT EVEN KNOW WHY IM HERE THE SECOND TIME TODAY

2011-11-23T21:07:00.001+08:00

but i guess im just so very bored today. :) lol. cant believe i seriously spent the whole day in bed like that. haha. shit. ah wells! i should just follow that picture LOL. maybe just change number 12 from drawing to writing :D cos i really cant draw xD well i got out of bed and am sitting in front of the tv now. (Y) well done. like half watching tv and half blogging LOL.

sigh! dont really feel like touching any MCQ today. dont feel like going for the MCQ mock tmr also. zzz gg -.- nonono cannot get addicted to my bed until next tuesday! bear with it! -.- siaaan! im like very behind time now :( raahhh! okay tmr cannot be like that already >:( its also not good for my mind -.-

sigh. wonder how the hell i managed to survive my JC life. tsk. or rather my nearly 18 years of life. -.- but in any case! friday is mine and just mine!! :D i think i shall bring home clothes to school and then hang out with the others! hmmmm~~ well~ im still considering~ lolol. anyways i really need to start my MCQs tmr -.-

ahhhhhhhhhh~~~ so many things to do~ so many things to think about~ so many things to look forward to~ suddenly i got the urge to go to IKEA LOL. damn random but well~ i still want to go xD and i shall go to the library this sat again. hope that there will be lesser people. since only paper 1 left.. lol. fine. i shall stop rambling. -.- have been doing that alot these days. zzz.

I WISH I COULD ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING.

2011-11-23T14:29:00.001+08:00

but i know. i shouldnt even be thinking about it. yeah. i just hope it'll pass. as quickly as possible. i guess. oh wells! i shouldnt even be thinking about anything in the first place. tsk whats wrong with me. anyways! i stayed home today! :D i was supposed to go to school to do my MCQs..... but... i was lazy. really lazy. and since morning till now i've been staying in bed! :D just drifting in and out of sleep. haha gg tonight no need sleep already :D and i think my mission of chionging MCQs today can just be postponed to tmr xD maaaaan. im hungryyy :( but i dont feel like eating. tskk! there i go again. really girl, if you dont eat you'll get fat. -.- meh. like that will work on me. zzz. well in any case! i've accomplished nothing but nothing today! :D what an accomplishment xD hehe! and yes! HE HAS TO LET ME GO BECAUSE THEY ARE GOING TOO LOL. but okay whatever. it wasnt like im asking for his permission. im just trying to make myself feel better and less guilt for doing such things xD okay actually that wasnt it too. i dont know actually. im just feeling abit weird these days :D i guess i know why but ah who cares~ no one actually gives a damn so why brood over things~ lalala! okay because i've been doing nothing but nothing, i think i have nothing much to say today LOL. well. im done with my wordpress and tumblr~ OH YES! I KNOW WHAT TO SAY NOW! I CANT WAIT FOR FRIDAY TO COME! :DDD i dont know what i'll be doing that day though hahaha. apparently wenqi wants to go watch the apple of my eye or something like that. that chinese show. sian. now it reminds me of my harry potter marathon. shall not think about it! okay i already am thinking about it -.- meh. i wanna go play jubeat. i wanna sing. i wanna jump. i wanna fly. i wanna be free~~ LOL. whatever no one cares~ xD right im just rambling bullshit. shall stop wasting people's time with such utter crap. if they spend time to read that is. till the next time peeps~~

I HAVE NO IDEA. REALLY.

2011-11-22T19:55:00.001+08:00

have been zoning out these days and i dont know what in the world is bothering me these days. it is just so freaking annoying. like something is tugging my attention and yet!!! tsk! i feel that it has something that got to do with that. but then again. i really cant figure out what. tsk. this is so frustrating! like i dont want to give a damn and yet it keeps trying to get my attention >:( meh. anyways! yeah. apparently christmas is coming. though i dont exactly feel it. and i dont even feel excited that my 18th birthday is coming up because of someone. tsk. he totally spoils it >:( okay i should stop doing that. i should stop thinking of things that make myself frustrated. and then i should stop putting >:( because i should be happy. yes. be happy.

YAY! JUST ONE MORE WEEK! and heck. i dont even know why im still going to school. feel like slacking yet feel like mugging. whats with this mixed mood -.- and i'll be going out with huangyu next week! ♥ well. we'll be going dating!! :DD i think. LOL. though i still dont know where xD she has geog this friday :( if not she'll be able to come for the CGS concert as well :( oh wells. ITS OKAY! ITS JUST ONE MORE WEEK! ♥ haha whee! and will be jio-ing people to go back to hyss for table tennis soon! :D wonder if capt did his job in contacting that junior xD whee! excited excited! i just hope that all these excitement wont turn out to be disappointment in the end as always :/ please. 18th year of my life. please dont be mean to me anymore. please :(

and yes! i've planned a harry potter movie marathon. for myself. there will this one fine day where i lock myself in my room plug in the charger and switch on my laptop and i shall start watching harry potter movies. right from the beginning. :D tbh. i havent watched a single one of them before. LOL. yeah. fail. im a failure of the harry potter generation but who cares~ im going to start after As~~ whee! zomg. seriously! i am getting so excited over all these planning. im really really afraid that everything turned out to be a disappointment. and plus the 5th hysc chalet. i wanna go too. :/ oh no oh no! stop girl. stop. nonono. you cannot go there. you'll end up quarreling with that bastard if you get too happy and he says no to you. not that you give a damn but come on lah. you wont be so bold to go against him all the time right. unless you really sincerely want to cut your hair and show him who's boss. tsk. thats a good idea. but still. no thanks. so please stop getting excited over things that hasnt been confirmed. please.

alright. calmed down. just talked to vicky on the phone! ♥ heehee! my very first chat on the phone after so long! glad its her~ whee! well! so far! including myself! there's 7 ppl going for the CGS concert this friday! :D yay! maybe i shall go there from school. yupp i'll be in school for the mock and chionging of mcq... and going there in school uniform (Y) plus victor vincent and them will be going too..... hmm.. maybe~ :D well. yeah. im afraid that bastard will want to go after hearing that they are going. tsk. annoying person. okay sorry. i know its not very nice to say bad things about him. but. its just my form of venting my anger instead of doing it in his face which is worse :) -.- kay. fine. i shall stop it -.- well in any case -.- yeah. maybe he'll end up going. sian. mood spoiler. totally dont want to sit with him can. nevermind i shall update him tmr. since he's like sleeping now.

itching to practise my music but he's sleeping. tsk. i gave myself free time today because its mcq. but starting tmr i think i shall just spam mcq all the way. :D hope i can improve and pull up my grades :/ think i didnt do very well today either. sigh. i mean yeah. i did predict certain questions. but still. my mind was like blank -.- and i think many people will do quite well so im like at the end of the bell curve and i'll be getting like D or E :( haiz. i hope not. please. okay stop. no depressing stuff! and actually. im quite surprised. LOL. i didnt think i would be able to crap so much today. must be cos im not hardworking anymore xD oh wells. i guess i know why i have been blogging so often. but. it cant be helped i guess. since. i cant do anything to change it. i think. ah wells. its fine. shall find a day to go out with dawn too. hmm. post A levels! please be nice to me and make him into another person which will allow me to go out! please! >.< i mean yeah i have 8 months. but.. rahh! stop making me excited i tell you. tsk. later really disappointment then you cry i dont care ah! tsk. stupid shit -.-

well anyhow~~~ dont know if vicky's gonna call me again or not. LOL. oh wells. i guess. i shall go do something else instead of ranting, crapping and bullshitting here. -.- like anyone will bother. maybe that stalker will finish reading. since he's a stalker and all. but. oh wells. okay fine i shall not be so mean and keep calling him a stalker. be happy kay! you-should-know-who-you-are LOL. aye i guess he's busy mugging. funny. poly person mugging. LOL. okok i shall stop. maybe i can start with trashing all my notes. LOL. xD aye i was kidding. hmm. maybe shall study some music stuff. since im doing theory anyways. dont even know where to start though. and im kind of hungry now :/ sian. which reminds me. my body is screwed up. and my mind is messed up. and im going insane. not. LOL. OKAY! I SHOULD REALLY STOP RAMBLINGGGGGGGGGGG.

OH YEAH? YOU THINK I GIVE A DAMN? SADLY. NO I DONT. WHEN I SAY I'M GOING, I'M GOING. GET USED TO IT. :)

2011-11-21T18:36:00.001+08:00

HA! IN YOUR FACE! LOL. okay tbh there's something wrong with me today so yah. in any case! I'M GOING! im not asking for your permission dude, im INFORMING you :) oh oh~ and check this out!!

Tuesday, Nov 22nd, 2011 -- You're looking forward to starting new projects and activities now that the brilliant Sun is shining in your sign. After a recent period of retreat or isolation, you're super-motivated to make something social happen today. But your words may be slightly ahead of your actions and it could take a few more days before you notice a real difference in your life. Don't be too self-critical if you want to have some fun; you've earned the right to play.

:D YES~ I'VE EARNED THE RIGHT TO PLAY! LOL. and maybe thats why i'm feeling so weirded out now too LOL. have been looking forward to the no-studies days. >.< gaahh! and then i fell asleep twice today!!! D: and its like i really fell into deep sleep and even had dreams :( :( :( raahhhh! why in the world am i so sleepy these days :( even keith says i look dead -.- tsk. i think i should sleep early tonight. but after doing some questions i guess. gotta try to get rid of the uneasiness within me. tsk. so annoying.

hahahah! and wth! i dont understand what chan is trying to say on whatsapp! LOL. he keep using pictures -.- and then he put a chicken for KFC like i will know its KFC when he just randomly suddenly put a chicken there! LOL. wth! sigh. and seriously. i dont know what, why and how! i feel bothered by something. really. i dont know what. since this morning. grahh. its like. so annoying!! but okay. at least i think i did some stuff today. though its like peanuts as compared to last week. :/ sigh! dont feel prepared for tmr at all :( even though i tried so hard. its still like that :(

NO! IT'LL BE FINE! okay. its fine. even if i fail physics its fine. the most is i cant go university. thats all. i dont necessarily have to go into university anyway. right? yah right -.- tsk. well. i should get going now. the urge to blog is slowly disappearing :D though im still blogging. cos i've been writing lately~ heehee! and i got the feeling that i might start warming up and going against him soon. LOL. well. its the holidays~ who stays at home, not allowed to work, and not allowed to go out with friends, and just rot at home in bed together with the computer?! its post A levels!! i dont really care anymore. there's no way he can use studies as an excuse anymore. I AM GOING TO FLY. LOL. freak. im really not normal today. in any case! I KEEP MY WORD AND GO STUDY NOW. :D

I'M SO FREAKING EXHAUSTED NOWADAYS :(

2011-11-20T22:21:00.001+08:00

yeessssssssss. i'm so freaking tired todayyyyy. :( or rather these days. think i'm feeling unwell unknowingly these days -.- thats what my aunt tells me -.- well anywayyys!!~ i went to grace's house today!! :D had HTHT with her too! <3 :D shall do it again soon! heehee! ^^

hmm.. still thinking if i should go school tmr... >.< gaahh! had a really filling dinner just now and im feeling so bloated now :( okay set. im going school tmr. because chan asked to borrow my black physics tys. LOL. thanks chan for helping me make my decision xD wheee! alright! at least i know im not going to be alone in school tmr~ hohoho! i suddenly feel motivated to study again LOL and seriously i've been mugging damn hard just for physics paper 3 tsk. i think its pointless though. i still dont know how.

okay. i think im going stop blogging now. LOL. dang. my posts are getting shorter each day as i become more "hardworking". tsk! -.-

I DIDNT WANT TO BLOG BUT

2011-11-19T19:36:00.001+08:00

but i still blogged. LOL. im really really tired today :( but i really really enjoyed myself these few days :D have been hanging out and studying with daphne these days! she's sooooooo cute!! <3 anyways! shall keep this short. i think. xD wells! i got the form for take ABRSM grade 5 today. its 100 bucks!!! rawrr! and then i dont know if i can pass it. no wait. I CAN! THERE IS NOTHING I CANT DO! LOL. okay im insane~ but whee! haha! in any case~ home alone now! probably sleeping early tonight. its like 7.40pm now. hmm. might be heading over to grace's house tmr and do physics. urgh. physics. no. physics. i love you. please love me back alright. i've been putting in so much effort for you these days. please please please return my feelings alright :( i know i've been bad to you before but i've learnt my lesson so please forgive me :( ok freak. im insane. RAWR.

alright. maybe. i shall just go and do abit more of physics and then go and sleep. really tired. since i've already updated my wordpress and tumblr anyways. heehee! till the next time then~~ whee!~

YAY~ HI~

2011-11-18T22:36:00.001+08:00

LOL. its nearly 11pm~ and daphne's over at my house! :D kay we are supposed to be studying. but oh wells!~ today is an awesome day in any case! and i shall not spend so much time blogging now cos its a rare opportunity that someone awesome is at my house~ :DDDDDDDDDD

HAH! I'M AWESOME! LOL

2011-11-17T21:05:00.001+08:00

hi!! third post of the day i think! it's 9:05pm and i'm still in school~ heehee! am at PAC with daphne~ haha she's freaking cute :DD and and! i did my second batch of confessions on my wordpress today! LOL. well sorry!~ i was really bored in the library~ so now there's a total of like. 50 confessions on my wordpress LOL damn zai~ hahaha! okay shucks. dad's coming soon. tskkk!! fine. i shall blog next time (aka tmr) :D goodnight people!~

MWAHAHAHA YES IM IN SCHOOL WITH MY LAPTOP WITH INTERNET!

2011-11-17T13:15:00.001+08:00

LOL. okay. i brought it upon myself. after i closed blogger at home just now i explored on how to connect to the net using my phone. (Y) best. LOL. oh wells. doesnt matter. i wont keep blogging anyways. i will study! for sure! just like how i will definitely go change my specs after A levels! for sure for sure! :D saw chan just now :D he had his geog paper and he said it was easy LOL. wth. okay lah. since its chan. its fine. lalala! feels weird blogging in the library -.- oh wells. i suppose i should be studying thats why -.- fine. i shall go study. -.- after awhile -.- i took my laptop out cos i was feeling sleepy -.- rawr. maybe i should just switch my laptop off and take a nap instead. -.- bleh. now im talking rubbish to myself. again. tsk. i shall stop blogging before things get worse -.-

ITS 10:20AM IN THE MORNING AND IM STILL AT HOME

2011-11-17T10:23:00.001+08:00

yay! alright. i've decided to take things slow today~ dont know if i'll regret it but im doing it anyway :D heehee! oh wells! have done loads of thinking and internal debates just now while i was practising my music. thought alot. and i have finally finally FINALLY! come to a conclusion! :D whee! but i dont know how long this resolve will last though xD well! i've decided to believe again that everything will be fine. at the end of everything and if things dont seem fine it just means its not over yet and i'll just have to be a teeny weeny bit more patient and wait for things to be fine! yes! and this means! even if i get straight Es for A levels i'll still be fine. for now xD but till then i dont know what will happen~ well! got this off from the lyrics of a song that i've been listening to:
但我知道蓝天终究会出现暴雨的终点是一片草原
yupp! so no matter what! rawr! whee! really. i didnt think i will feel better after yesterday by this much xD and then i tried to stay in bed but i really dont know why! i just cant stand it! -.- i was up at like 8:20am tsk! then i sent my mom off to work and then. practised my music and do my thinking. and tada here i am!~ havent taken my breakfast though xD well.. i'll go grab a bite when i go to school :D and so! A levels arent over yet. and im actively blogging, updating my wordpress as well, going to tumblr, reactivating my facebook, slipping back to twitter slowly, going to plurk and slacking. well. well done. dont even know why im going to so many places. tsk. weirdo. well! 3 more papers!! its like 10:35am now. lolol maybe i should head to school soon grab something to eat then start on my physics. rawr! but but! oh fine. =.= though i really have this urge to bring my laptop to school so i can blog more =_= and i realized i wont have the net. -.- oh wells. i guess i should get out of my house asap so i wont get stuck here -.- shall blog next time! hopefully after one or two days. yes. hopefully i'll study so hard that i forget about everything. LOL. i can continue dreaming xD hehe! right! ciaoz!~

HORRIBLE DAY

2011-11-16T20:08:00.001+08:00

today was a. horrible horrible horrible day. totally sucked. why? because. because. because! yeah. thats why. -.- sigh. and because of that. my papers were so horribly done :/ i really died. and am going to live my ruined life. urgh. sucks. but anyways. really love hteik and grace <3 i think without them today will be so much worse :/ and yeah. feel better. think i might just sleep early tonight and then go to school and study with daphne tmr.

still in a daze. zz. tried to upload videos but the sound wont work and i ended up aborting the mission. -.- shall try next time when im more in the mood or something -.- oh wells. i guess. despite today being such an ass. tmr is my opportunity to try to make things better i guess? since i failed paper 2 so badly. gotta make sure i know every single thing tmr, friday, saturday and sunday. then yeah. i'll probably. at least a D? hopefully? oh wells. hope. hah. dont even know what im hoping for now. wasting my 11:11 wishes. tsk.

urgh. damn sian. 3 papers and its 2 weeks long. freak. so annoying. and after the last paper i'll turn 18 soon. freak freak freak. i dont want to turn 18. -.- zzz. okay maybe its not that bad. but. rawrrr. i still dont want to -.- meh. dont even know why im complaining about turning 18 -.- zz. weirdo. nearer to 18 is nearer to 21 and its nearer to (hopefully) freedom. oh wells. maybe i'll forever be a child at heart or something along that line xD

hmm. got a sudden urge to go spam music. -.- but too lazy and tired to move from my bed. zz. today went to grandma's house from school. took 156 with hteik! <3 and then we went to buy ear piece LOL. like random much xD and then we got a total of 3 :D 2 for her and 1 for me hahaha oh wells its 10 bucks and its white and retractable so i thought why not? xD then we mrt to je and bus-ed! and then that guy!! tsk. so freaking annoying. i already told him to go upstairs and wait for me. he kept calling me!!!! rawwwrr! freak. worry what. late for 20 minutes only cannot issit. also not like you got work tonight or anything. or i got paper tmr. or whatever it is. gah. nevermind. i shall not annoy myself with him. pfft! anyways~

hmm wonder whats with me nowadays. oh wells. i guess. i will never know -.- i think after writing for more than 8 pages yesterday i wont write any today -.- maybe tmr -.- and now that i think back. i think A levels are creepy. -.- one. i've never mugged so hard in my life. two. i've never used so many writing papers and writing so many pages for essays. ever. three. i never had problems with timing. but well it happens all the time during all the papers. freak. im a goner i tell you. tsk. four. things like today never ever happened before. five. really everything is just -.- now zzz. and sadly. apparently. i dont feel like im doing all these for myself. life. how funny. LOL wth. singapore vs singapore? LOL. table tennis on channel 5 xD oh wells. i shall go play table tennis after A levels. for sure! tabun.. find tun again? lolol oh wells. see how~ or maybe i shall just go find my couzzies. since i think no one would be interested. -.-

listening to music using my new ear piece! :D love it xD heehee! okay. i think i crapped alot of rubbish here. though i dont know who will actually have the patience to read everything. -.- but oh wells! im feeling better :D off i go~

JUST ONE SENTENCE

2011-11-15T23:28:00.001+08:00

I'm going insane because I'm ruining my life - officially.

HOW

2011-11-15T20:30:00.000+08:00

realize something? i stopped counting down. LOL. and then. i stopped studying too. zz. i think im going to do damn badly tmr. haiz. i dont know i dont knowwww. raawwwwrrrrrr. i didnt blog ytd. cos i was studying in school. till 9 plus. with daphne and jiaying. daphne was damn cute xD heehee! and! finally finished BOP. ytd. -.- and today finished (kind of) exchange rate. havent touch interconnectedness. and havent done any successful recalling of what i read. gg. shouldnt have gone to school today. i just stoned. literally. and then now im thinking. shouldnt have come home. cos i just switched on my lap and start blogging like now. freaaaaak. wth is wrong with me todayyyyy. raawwwrrr!! feel like just going to bed right now. but my econs...... :/ and i wrote alot today. alot. more than 8 pages. feels like im training for tmr's writing. tsk. something is wrong with me. rah.

i hope i wont screw up tmr. okay even if i do screw up. please dont let me screw up so badly. because i really have no idea how i made it till today. i have no idea how i passed my PSLE. i have no idea how i manage to pass my O levels and get into cj. and i have no idea how the hell did i pass my promos and didnt get retained when im supposed to. and then suddenly. im here. taking my A levels. its freaky. really. when i think about it. its like. what the hell did i do? haiz. i shouldnt think so much. its not good for my brain. i should leave some brain cells for tmr's double memory-related papers. zz.

kay. i suddenly had a sudden abnormal thought. i thought of typing whatever i can recall for econs here -.- okay but i wont -.- its -.- ridiculous == rah. im seriously. weird. today. zz. lol. told my dad i had to do research for econs to find out more about those financial crisis and stuff. i ended up blogging (Y) -.-

well! i shall not think so much about depressing stuff! i shall share some awesome songs i've been listening to lately! :D 林俊杰 - 她说, 田馥甄 - 寂寞寂寞就好, 田馥甄 - 你, 田馥甄 - 还是要幸福, 郭静 - 不药而愈, FIR - 泪光闪烁, 潘嘉丽 - 说不哭 yup some new songs some not so new~ but who cares~ they are nice! :D whee!

okay. here's the picture of the post. tsk. didnt have any in mind but just happened to come across this on fb.

so true~ well anyway! really. i have no idea why the hell im back on fb. must be cos im not studying anymore. tsk. my studying mood is totally gone. gg. gah. its 8.30pm soon. and im still here. have been on this page for damn long. like browsing the net and then typing when i feel like it -.- kkkk i shall try to go and do something. zzzzzz. i feel like im rotting. tsk. -.-

OKAY. ENOUGH! i shall stop feeling like this. this is ridiculous. RIDICULOUS!! RAWRR! i shall just push everything aside >:( so annoying. pffft! STOP THINKINGGGGG RAAAHH! GO AND STUDYYYYY!!! tsk. and stop typing in caps. -.- you mad person. -.- stop ah. tsk. go and study. now. -.- bear in mind that you failed physics paper 2 damn badly. so. if you want to save your ass. go and mug damn hard. if not. you can just kiss your entrance to university goodbye. go nowwwwwwwwwww!!!! grrr!

ALMOST THERE.

2011-11-13T22:11:00.001+08:00

really. i was almost there. i almost switched off my laptop and go and sleep. LOL (Y) but oh wells. i had to do this. i had to share this. as in. well. i want to -.- well here:

yeah i posted it on my wordpress too. but oh wells. :D kay its really going to be a short one today. almost reaching the point where i dont feel like blogging so much. keep it up girl! xD shall go to school to mug for physics tmr. >.< didnt exactly do alot today. with me feeling so distracted and the piano thing. :P meh. i think i got gastrics for not eating today. zz. -.- nvm. i deserved it. -.- well. yeah. shall blog next time. though i already lost the focus to study nowadays.. haiz. econs chem and physics :/ and i went to check my answers for math. lol. wasnt that bad. i think. though had some careless mistakes and some worries for presentation problems. but other than that. should be able to get at least a C :D right. not something to be happy about. but in any case, shall not rant so much here. should probably find something to eat. before i starve to death and am unable to make it for tmr's paper. though i dont exactly feel like going either. tsk. hope it wont be too difficult :/ my physics... :/ ... -.- meh. whatever will be will be ==

17 MORE DAYS

2011-11-12T20:04:00.001+08:00

DOMO-KUN! right. im feeling random. tbh, the "create new post" page have been opened for over half an hour with me trying to convince myself to NOT blog. but well. rah! anyways! -.- have been resisting the temptation to go back to facebook, twitter and tumblr. wordpress failed because throughout the day i've been adding to the list of confessions that i've recently started on wordpress. -.- blogging failed because im bored and feeling damn random now. and i so dont want to study :(

having been doing loads of thinking. and as always. i've failed to come to any conclusion at all. xD well. i guess its just this bad habit of mine to overthink :/

in any case! went to westmall this morning. spent 10 bucks in like less than half an hour -.- almost spent another 34 bucks. pfft. but im so going back there to get that >:) anyways! then i stupidly realised that the library wont be opened till 2pm. and i stupidly didnt read the whole thing. and then ended up making daphne go all the way to cck library with the same results >.< so sorry! >.< but wells. we ended up studying at the foodcourt. :D i felt that it was quite awesome though xD then we went into the library at 2pm sharp AND IT WAS PACKED D: sjp. really. like. every single table is filled. at 2pm sharp. -.- wth. why the people all so hiong. tsk. but anyways we still studied in the library. without a table. and we were sitting directly in front of this shelf of books all about countries. LOL. ahh i should have taken a photo of it xD well. and then i started losing focus after awhile cos its nearing 3 plus. and my dad's gonna come pick me up soon. so. i started doing random stuff. did 2 parts of 1 qns from the tys. and yah. thats about it. -.- though i did read other chaps and stuff. oh wells. then went for music. it was horrifying. LOL. my teacher purposely gave me on-the-spot-tasks :( and my brain was dead. and my on-the-spot-reactions are always so darn slow. and then she gave me on-the-spot-tasks on purpose :( but it wasnt that bad. quite fun. LOL. though its still horrifying -.- fun as in challenging. meh. everything's a challenge when your brain is dead -.- then homed. and then slacked. and then procrastinating. then here i am.

will be going to school to study with dong tmr. hopefully i will improve in physics by then. really. desperately. -.- but at least now i remember that red light has a wavelength of 700 nm and that the speed of electromagnetic waves is the same as the speed of light. LOL. okay. really. i need to get my facts right. -.- haiz. yeah. hopefully i'll do fine on monday. i think after this week i will really have ALOT of difficulties in focusing and trying to study. im already having some now -.- and its only the first week. zz.

meh. and yeah. i just had the sudden urge to delete all the annoying spams on my tagboard. -.- just looking for something to do -.- rahhhhhh. i dont think im going to get any studying done. zzzz gg -.- feel like stoning. zzzzzzzzzz. raaaahhhhhhh!! i just want to stone now == raawwwwwrrrrrrrr. fine i shall shut up. i shall not blog so often. though i've said it alot of times already. i'll still try.

hang in there.

focus.

smile.

11/11/11 11:11PM!

2011-11-11T23:11:00.001+08:00

Happy 11/11/11 11:11PM! May all your wishes come true!!

DAY 4 -- 18 MORE DAYS

2011-11-11T19:56:00.001+08:00

and life still goes on. sigh. kept feeling jittery nowadays before paper. i was fine for the first 2 days. then these two days. :/ haiz. right. since the next paper is 3 days away. its safe to think about how i did for the past papers :D hmm. chem paper 3 was.. shite. gp was.. actually i dont really know how i did for GP. am afraid that i might go out of point for paper 1 and then paper 2 i couldnt get the answer for the short questions and vocab. so.. it sucked i guess. -.- math yesterday was fine. i think. though i heard people saying that its kind of tough. and then math today was horrible. though i heard people saying its easier than yesterday. == there's something wrong with me -.- meh. im really abnormal. pfft. and going to the library to study with daphne tmr! gonna try hard for physics. apparently i dont really know what i know or dont know and i cant do any questions. zz. starting from scratch i guess. gotta keep calm and carry on all the same. have been telling myself that nowadays. ahhh. life. well. i guess.

freak. why am i coming here everyday now. if i dont have my laptop. im here with my phone. gah! anyways. i think im just too lazy to write nowadays. typing seems faster and i really really really REALLY! want to rant :( and when i switched on my laptop i realized its still hibernating since wednesday. because of GP. look at how hardworking i was for freaking annoying GP:

and yes. after the paper that day. 3 words kept replaying in my mind - "BURN GP BURN". -.- wtf. gah. im insane anyways. meh. right and i have loads to rant. today especially. no. since yesterday. well. here goes.

you. yes you. who the hell do you think you are. isnt it enough for you to do that to me and her? why are you targeting them now? sure. just because we found ways to deal with your sucky attitude doesnt mean you have to find others and do whatever you are trying to do to us to them. i mean. no. this doesnt sound right. okay i shall restart. firstly. fuck you. you. have to make pleasant things become unpleasant. you. have to make people feel miserable. you. have to ruin the happiness of others. firstly was her. and then me. now you are going to ruin theirs too? i am not going to allow you to do that to them. even if it means going against you. i understand that you will never ever understand how others are feeling and thinking. and i understand that you will never be able to put yourself in the shoes of others. and i understand that you are a freaking self-centred and possessive person who always think you are in the right even when you are in the wrong. i understand that much. but they dont. they have always seen you as the caring person, a person who is efficient, well-organized, reliable. they have always painted such a nice picture of you in front of me. especially when im mad at you. they've always tried to talk me out of it. do you know that? and then you have to ruin that. i mean. hey look. every family has their own problems that you can never ever understand just like how people will never ever understand how and why ours are so screwed up. why did you even flare up? you have no right to. and then you didnt even consider or remember what she told you. then you insist on the earlier dates and made things ugly by pushing the blame to another. wtf. i dont understand. why is it that. you have the ability to do things like that. i mean sure. you worked hard for it. like. you have spent alot of time on it. so what? you, a person who thinks you know everything, should know that hard work does not equate results. or maybe you didnt know that do you? really. i dont know what im saying now. but. i really hate how you do things. i hate how you can turn a happy family trip that i look forward to to something i dread so much now. i hate how you always force your ideals on others. no. actually. no. i dont hate them. no. i shall not hate anything. i shall not waste my energy hating them. i just dont like the fact that you are doing the same thing to them now. i will protect them from you. i swear.

GAH! and now i cant attend mr S's wedding! tsk! firstly it was them. now its me. and then. rahhh! nevermind. im used to it. its just. i had to get it off somewhere and then its too troublesome to vent my anger writing. so yeah. looking back now. i feel stupid. really. why did i even keep my anger in me. must be the anger that makes me so jittery these days. or maybe not. haiz! right. at least i feel better now. feeling darn empty all of the sudden after ranting. lol. oh wells. i've declared just now. i have to stay strong. if not for myself, i shall do it for people like dong. since i seem to put in more effort in doing things for others than for myself. nop. i will not fall. especially not now. just for 17 more days and i'll be "free". just hang in there! >:(

have been out since morning till after dinner. morning school. afternoon went to collect new passport and air ticket (miraculously) and lunch then went for the last econs tuition. after that went to aunt's house for dinner then homed. ah. cant wait for As to be over. want to overnight at vicky's house. then we can have loads of HTHT <3 oh oh! and im going to wait for 11:11pm tonight! :D i missed this morning's by two minutes! :( was in the hall trying to calm myself down because of the stupid paper. tsk. but i still made a wish anyway :D dont know if it works. -.- ah wells! tonight! i will not miss it! definitely!

haiz! realized that im just avoiding things. dont know why. cant stand it. :/ have been trying to quit everything online. -.- though obviously blogging and plurk failed. -.- but the rest. yeah. and then im so tempted to stop using iphone and switch back to my old one. nonononono! i have to stop. zzz. this is super annoying. >:( its like. when i think its fine. i let my guard down. and then something has to attack me from somewhere. tsk. rahhhh. why is my mind so screwed up :( and maybe i will quit blogging after all. temporarily. MAYBE. if i can resist the temptation of ranting online so easily unlike writing. plus with all the mugging i have to do. meh. shall not think about it anymore. i shall just live a day at a time. there i go avoiding things again. pfft.

ANYWAYS! I MISS MY BED SO SO SO MUCH!! <3<3<3 have been staying at my grandma's for like 3 days 2 nights. mugging for math there :D much more efficient than at home. but i still miss my bed :( i kind of dread next week. because of econs & chem paper on the same day. and my econs..... I STUDIED SO HARD AND I FORGOT EVERYTHING I READ :( :( :( :( okay maybe not that exaggerating. but. noooooooo! i cant seem to recall anything at class just now!! :( i just hope its cos im really exhausted. with whats happening at home and stuff. :/ gah! stop finding excuses! im just plain dumb! tsk! and i should be studying and not ranting so much rubbish here!!

haiz. whatever. shall just wait for my 11/11/11 11:11PM. though i still dont know what i will wish for. zz. next time then.

I MUST BE INSANE

2011-11-10T18:42:00.001+08:00

alright. I probably am.

GO AND DO MATH!! >:(

DAY 3 -- 19 MORE DAYS

2011-11-10T13:45:00.001+08:00

Rah. I'm feeling damn pissed off now. Adults. I can never understand them. Ever. And to think I'm going to become one of them soon. Freak.

... At my grandma's house now. Just want to be left alone I guess. I want to go home but if I do I won't get any math done. I mean. Yeah. I'm not really doing anything now. But I will later on.

Don't exactly know what to rant. Just. Frustrated I guess.

.. Wishing upon a star. Random but yeah. Just felt like saying that. Anyways. Shall go sleep. Hope I can sleep everything off. Hope that once I wake up I won't feel this way anymore.

DAY 1 - 21 MORE DAYS!

2011-11-08T21:25:00.001+08:00

I AM GOING TO LEARN THAT ONE DAY. I SWEAR.

LOL. right. im already starting to count down to the last paper. and its only one paper down today. and yes im supposed to be doing GP stuff. but. I REALLY WANT TO RAAAAAAAAAANT :( :( :(

now that im here i dont know what i want to rant about. noooooooooooooo! dont be this waaayyy :(

and okay i should stop it with the :(s. tsk. not a good thing.

RAWRR I MISS TALKING TO LIUSHISONG! I DONT CARE ANYMORE. IM GONNA BUG HIM TODAY RAWWRRRRRR

im officially insane. :)

hehe! well. i dont know~ i hope i'll be fine for tmr's paper. really. i dont exactly know loads of examples and stuff. zz. i tried to do loads of reading. but apparently i still end up with the same amount of content knowledge.

OH OH! and! i only go to tumblr once a day now!! and i think i can dont go anymore :D :D yay!~ slowly slowly~ twitter too! now left with wordpress/blog/plurk. tsk. i think plurk is fine. need an outlet to rant as and when i like. but the blogging and wordpress......... tsk. fine. i shall try my best. maybe i wont blog so often cos after gp is over.. there's no point in using the laptop anymore. yeah. i dunno~ maybe~ grahhhh. i just want to jump about. maybe not jump. AIYA! i dunno. tsk. shall go bug liushisong nao. bleh.

KAY IM JUST REALLY BORED IN SCHOOL NOW

2011-11-07T17:17:00.001+08:00

Evidence of slacking + stoning + sian-ness ttm.

BONUS FOR TODAY~ :D

2011-11-06T22:08:00.002+08:00

BUT! i gotta...

yep! bonus bonus! two pictures~ and two songs~ LOL i added one more :D i wanted this song in my blog too! hehe!

well! i did go for tuition in the morning. and then i went to school. AND WASTED MY DAY THERE~ (Y) i was playing jubeat on keith's phone till he only had 16% left at about 6 plus in the evening xD hahaha! i feel bad but it was really addictive! :D and im gonna get jubeat on my phone! by hook or crook! >:) ahaha gg~ another distraction on my phone now! :P

ehehe. aye! im now officially downloading jubeat into my phone!! :D hope it works >.<

wells! yes. screw the fact that tmr is monday. im going to spam chemistry tmr. like really. because today i didnt do anything. so. yeah. i need to do something and assure myself that i can maybe pass chem or something. ._. haaaiiiizzzz! please please please please PLEASE! let me pass my A levels! >.< rah! alright. and so i quitted facebook. 3/4 quitted twitter. half quitted tumblr. quitted wordpress. and then im hooked to blogging -.- tskk! really! gotta control myself! -.- kay. maybe blogging not so much. since im only blogging cos im using the laptop for gp. ah wells. taybeegim. please ah. stop doing stupid things. already stupid enough. stop being stupid-er.

anyways. whee! downloading jubeat in progress! :D its slow~ but its working!! up till now xD ah ah ah! cant wait!! :D oh and i also have to print stuff for dong. RAH! so lazy to go through everything again and print. zzz. can i just like zap for him at the photocopy shop or something. zzzzzz. ask my dad to bring to work and photocopy. == yeah. i should just do that -.- free & save myself from the trouble -.-

hmm. im thinking that maybe i should stop blogging for awhile. not like i dont have any other places to rant. but. just a bit troublesome. -.- ah wells. yeah. i guess. i shall not blog so often. alright! another bonus! as my temporary farewell special!~ xD

right. final reminders. for myself. cant be down. work hard. like ttm. dont think. survive. hang in there. many people love you. spend more time with your darlings. especially after As. be more focused. do your best. try to be smarter even if its just a teeny weeny bit. shut everything out and really focus. focus. focus. focus. calm down and gambatte! listen to happy songs! :D

aye! study hard people! all the very very best for A levels! may all of you do well~ :)

do i even still believe i wonder?

SCHOOLING SPREE

2011-11-05T20:58:00.000+08:00

downloading loads of gp stuff again! :D heehee~ well! the photos in the previous post are really random. i was bored like ttm. and then i started imagining myself with a camera and wonder what will the pictures look like if i were to take them. LOL. well. they arent as great as i hoped they will turn out to be xD and okay that is proof that i was slacking away in school. :P but i did both chem and math (a teeny weeny bit) though! im really tempted to bring my laptop to school tmr to read gp. but im still kind of worried for my chem. :/ and i have physics tuition tmr morning :( dont wanna go >:( but i already pon last week. zzz. rah! fine! i shall not pangseh dong again! go there and see what i can do for my physics which is also cui ttm. -.-

and! yes! there's no more peace at my blog! again~ mwahaha! aye! oh wells. the song aint very noisy either. nice background music i think. :D thanks to grace <3

haiz! days passed by just like that :/ and then there's only two days left. ... i hope i'll be alright. soon i guess. everything will be over in a blink of an eye. feel so dumb. pfft. no. i really am. meh.

ALRIGHT! i shouldnt be so down! must get hyped >:) two more days! must do whatever i can! and im going school again tmr!! :D was studying in school with keith after lunch. and tmr again! dont know if chan coming~ i hope so! then i shall bug him with my chemistry! hehe! xD

am thinking of deactivating my fb account for good. but. i know i will activate it again after A levels if i deactivate it now -.- too reliant on fb to catch up with my darlings :/ meh. fine. i shall just deactivate it. no one will miss me anyway. :D and im getting better and not going to tumblr! :D though i still go everyday for at least easily more than 3 times a day. but its improving!! xD well i have to get nice pictures from there~ xD and yes! i deactivated my account >:) first step done! well. the next step is kind of optional. really tempted to do it. but then. this way. i cant entertain myself anymore. == meh. nevermind. i shall spare this step xD and the next. is myself!~ im going to do what i do best :D remind remind and remind! :D yupp! and then i shall psycho myself! its the most crucial period! must do well!

aye! my downloading of ppt for gp lectures are officially done! and i found out mr F's website. but tonight shall be ms S's :D tmr then mr F's xD and the lecture slides... problemetic. zzz got so many things to do :/ nonono! i still have time! rah! i shall stop blogging for today! dont know if i'll be here tmr though! maybe xD GP I SHALL CONQUER YOU and chem+physics+econs+math too! hope i'll do fine :/

i knew.

RANDOM

2011-11-05T11:27:00.001+08:00

THREE MORE NERVE WRECKING DAYS TO GO

2011-11-04T20:24:00.001+08:00

KAWAII DESU!~ <3 xD aye! i took it off from tumblr once again! :D and i successfully changed my wordpress url too!~ blah~ this week was so productive- NOT. didnt even touch math like i planned to. chem was utterly demoralizing and physics was the same as chem. econs wasnt that bad and i just started trying to prepare for gp. with only THREE days left. i spammed loads of printing :D poor printer~ it has to suffer because of me :P oh wells! i found out what i wanted to find out long long long time ago (actually not that long) after poking around mr L's and ms S's websites. THE ONE AND ONLY CJC ONLINE LECTURE NOTES WEBSITE. LOL. mr L's website was quite cool. simple and easy to navigate. ms S's i havent tried. cos she's so darn dedicated and update almost everyday (i think) and stuff so its pretty overwhelming especially after going through mr L's website trying to digest stuff xP but i found what i wanted to find~ i shall look through all of them tmr night! now i shall do gp every night. last minute but oh wells~ i didnt believe that one can actually do so much to prepare for gp exams. now after looking through mr L's and ms S's websites im thinking otherwise and wonder why i find out about those awesome websites only now :/

hehe! it feels pretty good to be able to do work using the laptop after so long! i wasnt willing to touch the laptop for the fear that i would end up doing other stuff but mwahaha! even though now im blogging but hey! i did my work~ (kind of xD)

well. tbh. i was really really really. demoralized ttm. especially yesterday and today. thanks so much to chem. its like the most unrewarding subject on earth. like ever. -.- my dad was saying how im panicking now because i didnt prepare earlier in the year. but hey. i dont regret not preparing. i enjoyed the year. if i were to prepare so hard. i dont think i will even enjoy life in cj. really. seeing that i hate studying so much :) and im not actually panic-panicking now. its just demoralizing at how i cant seem to do anything though once again it goes back to the fact that i've not been preparing. blah. i dont even know why im going in circles now == but i just dont regret choosing what i did. yep~

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah~ today is really. exhausting. meh. i spent so much energy and yet didnt complete math or econs. rah! oh wells. i shall go school tmr and chiong my chem/math. see my mood. most likely it'll be chem. yeah. i should do chem. chem sucks. but. i still have to do chem. right. even if dion is not there. and i learnt my lesson. i will NOT climb out of the window. or be dumb enough to even study within the locked compounds of the school. i will just go straight to the grandstand tmr -.- save all the efforts and injuries. and i also need to do something about my physics. right. sunday will be the day. i have my afternoon free~~~ :D no more math tuition. okay thats abit sad but i still have sunday afternoon free~! whee! i will really miss math tuition. have been there since like whut. primary 4. -.- oh wells. good things will come to an end. yeah. what doesnt end? oh wells. and i realized it has been quite some time since i posted something as wordy as this == rah. i shall go file my newly printed gp stuff and pack my super messed up room and clear my mind and sleep! maybe i lack of sleep. hmm. probably. 3 more days! gambatte!

its alright. things will be alright. and so will i.

- standing on that thin line that divides giving up and persevering on.

HI PEEPLE

2011-11-01T20:17:00.002+08:00

yes yes im not supposed to blog but who cares! okay actually i do. -.- blah. i wasnt exactly productive these two days anyways. -.- and sjp. i have econs consult in the morning tmr and gp consult in the afternoon and im unprepared AND IM STILL HERE BLOGGING (Y) okay actually its just a short one. i dont know. i just want to blog. -.- i tried not to go to my wordpress. and i want to change my wordpress url but they wont allow me to! rawr! keep asking me check back a few days later. tskk! kns!

raahhhhh!

okay. i shall go do my gp and econs now. got to focus >:(

im going to be officially eliminated from the education system this round. gg. (Y)

I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND BUT I GUESS.

2011-10-28T23:32:00.002+08:00

there's no other choice/way around this right?

alright! i'm just gonna keep this short because my lap is gonna sleep soon. 25% left xD well. i just felt that i had to post something! with this sense of accomplishment i'm feeling~ :P and also to post this awesome picture that i got from tumblr :D sorry for koping but well~ its nice~ to me~ i actually didnt expect myself to do so much today! :D i actually completed like 2 chemistry paper 2, 1 physics paper 2, 1 physics paper 1 and went through the math mock paper question by question! zomg! makes me feel happy~~ LOL. right and so! i'll be going to school tmr to study with dion once again~! who wants to come?~~ LOL like anyone will read. oh wells! yeah i should just go and print my gp compre and then bring tmr. NO I DONT WANNA DO GP. no wait i have loads to do for GP. i just realized. -.- meh. fine. i shall do them on sunday. (procrastinating in progress~) xD I WANNA DO CHEM/MATH/PHYSICS TMR! and my monday is for chionging econs with daphne! rah! and i just caught up with my mexico friend just now on youtube! :D im amazed that he found me hahaha! oh wells its not that hard to find me either actually. hehe. not really very active on youtube anymore >.< need to study!

right. and so i shall just switch my lap off. so much for shutting down parts of my mind. meh.

GOODNIGHT PEOPLE! STUDY HARD FOR THOSE TAKING Os AND As! AND WHATEVER EXAMINATIONS! I SHALL TRY NOT TO BLOG/TUMBLR/TWEET/WORDPRESS/TAPSONIC/THINKABOUTSTUPIDSTUFFWHILESTONING/ESCAPETOSLEEP/LOSEFOCUS SO OFTEN!~ NIGHT!~ :DDD

DONT MISS ME~~ ^^

its not getting any easier, but its not getting any harder either. maybe i'll get used to it. and then one fine day i'll be so surprised if that happens.

THERE'S NOTHING THAT I CAN'T DO

2011-10-26T21:06:00.002+08:00

aye! yes and that is it! there is nothing that i can't do! or so i tell myself :P well~ in any case! im going to do my best! >:D today went to school. studied at the grandstand with dion~ saw dong & chii at PAC~ saw my son in consultation with mr Y~ witnessed the scene of heavy rain sweeping across the field from the right to left LOL. it was amazing. its like vooooom. xD

before:

5 minutes later:

LOL. joke sia. its practically from right to left. well okay. maybe the picture aint very clear. but it was on HDR mode! and okay. i admit. i was trying to look out for rainbows. -.- sorry people still a child at heart :P and yes! today wasnt as bad as tuesday! :D maybe thats why im kind of happy~ heehee! i sense improvement xD lalala~ and so! there's nothing that i can't do! or so i tell myself once again xD

sian. im seriously addicted to tumblr. this is bad. meh. whatever. i'll deal with it.

recently addicted to this awesome song :D darn high~ wheeheeee!~

计时炸弹 - 潘嘉丽

天已经快天黑啦
我还不要回家
一个人呆呆的想着你啊

傻这世界我最傻
每天等你电话
我为何要为你放心不下

爱情的计时炸弹快要爆炸
我的委屈你晓得吗
当你抚摸我的头发
我又为你心跳十下
爱情的计时炸弹快要爆炸
我的情绪你晓得吗
难道要我眼泪掉下
才晓得我的心碎吗
爱我吧

爱我吧好吗
我在等你的回答
爱你呀放弃吧
就当作哭泣是一种惩罚

and so! my dad is snoring next door once again ._. seems like most of the time he's sleeping ==

AND HECK! I HAVENT PRINTED MY GP STUFF THAT I SAID I WOULD PRINT like. TWO DAYS AGO?! or somewhere there. RAWRRRR! dang. and i have consult with her for like. 1 hour 30 minutes tmr. ZOMGGGG. im gonna dieeeeeeee. and i didnt turn up for gp mock yesterday too!!! nooooooo!!! im like just going to school and suicide == okay. maybe im over-worrying -.- i dont think she gives a damn anymore == ALRIGHT I MAY NOT BE BLOGGING AS FREQUENT ANYMORE! until As are over that is. by that time i think i may even blog EVERYDAY. because i just have nothing better to do other than use the com. OH OR MAYBE I CAN MAPLE AND AUDI MWAHAHAHA! okay stop. i shall not look forward to end of As when it hasnt even started.

I NEED TO GO AND PRINT THE ANNOYING GP!~~~

and so. its time to stop hoping.

maybe im thinking too much. but what i get from all these is to not bother you anymore. so. well. yeah. suit yourself. your choice. doesnt matter anyway.

GOOD MORNING

2011-10-25T09:32:00.001+08:00

yes i didnt go to school today. i slept for 12 hours. i wasted my life away. even as it gets closer to A levels.

so what?

screw life. :)

well anyways. i dont even know what is what anymore. yeah. apparently my mom woke me up. just because she told me this: "stop thinking of what is impossible". yupp. and there. i shall not worry so much about my A levels. i shall not worry so much about myself. i shall not worry so much about anyone. if i can. apparently i think i might be reverting back to normal soon. which i dont know if its a good thing or not. but oh wells. at least for now i shall enjoy feeling fucked up since i might be reverting back. its rare to feel this way when im normal. so yeah. its time to smile to the world and say, look, i dont give a damn and im still doing well.

even though im really really unsure of whats going on within me now, i dont actually care anymore. why bother so much? im sure i'll do fine in life. or at least i'll be alright. of course. i still love my family and friends. i still love them with all my life. but i guess. maybe i wont act the same way anymore.

to tell you the truth. i dont even know what im typing and i dont even know if anything i typed make sense. oh wells. i just woke up anyway xD

right. so back to updating~

recently. i dont know what i've been doing everyday. haha amazing right. its as though im watching some movie clip as i watched my life go on. oh wells. not like i wanted to. and im actually supposed to eat my breakfast. LOL. and then my bread has been sitting in front of me for over half an hour untouched xD heehee. and after that im gonna go to my grandma's house <3 lalalala~ and tmr im going to school too! :D will be studying with dion~~ well if anyone wants to come feel free to come yeah~ its FFA ^^ what should i do today... i finished my correlation and linear regression tutorials... hmm econs? math? physics? chem? gp? oh screw them. :D i shall just do abit of everything xD i'll look like im leaving house later LOL a big bag of notes and books wahahaha~ i cant actually find any suitable picture for this post because apparently its abit too complicated xD aye i should be eating my bread before my dad comes home and sees me blogging early in the morning :D

ITADAKIMASU~ ^^

~~all i wanted to say is that. if i dont mean anything to you then its just pointless even if im special.~~

EARLY IN THE MORNING

2011-10-23T08:38:00.001+08:00

And I'm fucking mad. Just who you are to think that you know me very well. Just because I have to stay with you, just because we are family, just because I have to be stuck with you, just because you always feel that you are never wrong? Well I'm sorry to burst your bubble. You are wrong. You don't know what's going on in my life. You just happen to know what's happening on the surface, what I chose to show you. Now I know why many people tell me that I need to stop blaming myself. Because of you I've always thought the worst of things. Because of you I've always thought that as long as there's something wrong, it's me. But its okay. It's not your fault. It's mine alright? It's mine for being so weak. For being so forgiving each time. For trying to not go against you. For trying so damn hard to make sure I don't create so much trouble for you. For trying not to wreck your image of your dear well-behaved and non-rebellious little girl. I apologize. It was entirely my fault. But please I just want to ask of you to not sound like you know me inside out because obviously you don't. Though I'm sure that you will still do what you think is right. In your own judgement. Well. Fuck off. I could just say that in your face. Imagining how shocked you will be to the extent that you might even want to hit me. I can almost laugh now. I envy her so much. Envy her for her courage to even step out of the house. Envy her for her strength and ability to shoulder all the rubbish and nonsense that people have been talking about behind her back. No one will understand the reason better than I do. Well. I'm too much of a cowar to do that. But now, I am just going to do my best and stay away from you. University? Overseas of course. I don't want to end up in the same situation as her where I can no longer tolerate all your fucking nonsense. Just a little more. I'm gonna study damn hard and get away from you. I'm not going to drag them into this. This is only between us.

Just. Stay away from me.

BECAUSE I'M TEMPTED TO DO SO

2011-10-22T12:36:00.002+08:00

okay. i know i said to go and do work. but i am really tempted to change my blogskin. i really love the previous one. but i just felt that i had to change -.- maybe i'll change it back after i get sick of this new one =.= right and this is in memorial for my previous blogskin (Y) and tada! i'm done. this is cool in the sense that you can click open and close the top xD LOL okay i guess im easily satisfied by things like that :P

AYE! I SHALL REALLY REALLY OFF MY LAP AFTER I PRINT OUT THE GP STUFFFFFS.

BECAUSE SOMEONE ASKED ME TO DO SO

2011-10-22T11:56:00.003+08:00

and hence here i am blogging. and this time the picture is up there for no particular reason. it just looks nice :D today is my experimental day of being at home. wonder if i can get anything done. was supposed to be up at 9am but i went back to sleep -.-

TODAY'S TARGET:
- finish Correlation & Linear Regression Tutorials
- 2 Chapters for Econs
- 1 Paper 1 (either Chemistry/Physics)

and its already 11.40am and I'm still here (Y) ah wells. i dont really have much to update nowadays. i have zero life these days. i've just been going to school from 6.30am - 10pm daily whenever i have no tuition this week. and yupp. have been thinking alot alot alot these days too. i just hope i wont screw up for my A levels. cos im really dead worried :/ its like. i know i wont do so badly for math and econs (as compared to prelims which is really bad) because i can feel that i know more stuff. but for physics chemistry and gp.. its like no matter how much questions i do i still feel like my knowledge doesnt increase and i still dont know what i didnt know. -.-

oh. i hear my dad snoring next door. -.- whut. didnt he sleep last night. and earlier than me too! and then whenever i tell him im sleepy he gives me that look. =.= right. who's the one sleeping now. pfft.

sian. i have to come home myself after my music later. im feeling damn lazy zz. yes and thats probably why i still havent started on my work and still rubbishing and crapping random shit here. zz. rah! i havent done my music homework too! haiz. nevermind. i hope my teacher wont scold me. i didnt even touch the electone for one whole week :( no wonder im feeling so out of sorts. rah. really. dont study so hard. it will screw up one's mind. -.- like me == and sometimes i even think that im trying too hard. zz. like yesterday. i was trying so hard during tuition and yet i got all the questions wrong. haiz. maybe it would be better if i didnt care so much =.= right. thats not the right way to think too -.- meh. == okay. i should really stop. -.- next time ==

my dear bed,
~~please stop being so comfortable and nice to me. dont always welcome me with opened arms will you. its good enough for you to know that~~ i love you ~~dont you. i love you so much that i cant be apart from you every single night. so please dont try to tempt me to stay with you during the day too. i really need to study.~~
with lots of love,
beegim.

WORDS

2011-10-15T13:12:00.001+08:00

I'm not exactly good with words. But I'm really really really grateful for all the memories that all of you have given me throughout these 2 years. Maybe I'm close to you, and maybe I'm not. But that doesn't matter. Every single one of you made a difference to my life and are all people filled with awesomeness. Thank you for everything you've all done for and given me regardless of small or big. They all matter :) I wish all of you the best for the upcoming battle of A levels and everything you do in the future! Take care! <3

I HEARTS TUMBLR :)

2011-10-11T21:13:00.001+08:00

It says it all. Tumblr is loved <3 wasn't feeling all that great just now and just browsing through tumblr made me feel better alot! ;D

And yes that's my seat for the Lion King Musical I went for on Sunday night ^^ it was just plain awesome :D sorry I didn't exactly take it the right way up :P

Have been and will be going to school everyday even though it's not exactly compulsory anymore since there's like no attendence taking or what so ever. Lessons are a bore as usual. I don't actually know how they helped but I guess they do help in a way or another..

And! And then there's this consultation. Its awkward. Like ttm. Pfft. I should just go and ask chan. Don't exactly want to go for that consultation anymore. Tsk.

And yes I realized that my paragraphs are kind of short. But oh wells it looks long on my phone anyway :D shall go and do some work. Have been sleeping since the afternoon just now. Don't really know why i can sleep so much. -.- well. Next time!

I SHOULD REALLY STUDY

2011-09-27T20:23:00.000+08:00

yay hi people. i've finally found time to blog! okay actually i'm quite free. but. i just had to "study" alot. yeah note the inverted commas. because whenever i tried to study i dont think anything goes into my brain. if only studying is as easy as remembering my music sheets. not exactly sad about my results. but not exactly feeling thrilled about it either... as in. some were surprises, some were expected and well some were astonishing..? lol i guess i havent totally got over it yet. well hope that by the end of this week i'll be back to normal and stop falling asleep within 15 seconds. i can even do it in school today. just that. well. in less than 5 seconds i woke myself up before falling asleep -.- so yah. i didnt sleep in class okay. im a good student. well. good as in i dont create unnecessary trouble :)

somehow. this week has become my "free and easy" week. dont know if it is something good or not. i mean sure i have things to be done by the end of the week. but i wonder if thats enough. i keep feeling that im just doing nothing but nothing. especially when im home.

somehow. school's not all that fun anymore. or maybe im just feeling restless nowadays. i dont know. i cant exactly pin point where is the difference. there's less than 42 days left to my first paper. maybe im finally feeling the nerves for A levels.

somehow. i just want to keep sleeping.

somehow. i kept typing somehow.

haiz! and chemistry tutorial was a disaster today -.- 2 hours. torturing like hell == trying to entertain myself by doing different things and yet i barely lasted. zzz and there's somemore chemistry tutorial tmr! raahhhh!! why why why?! why chemistry tutorials?!! i mean its not really the teacher's fault. but really. i was practically just wasting my time there and rotting. zzz. i tried to pay attention. really. but there is nothing i can understand at all -.- gg. i hope i'll be fine for my A levels.. -.- ...

and.. well. it takes two hands to clap. i guess.

FINALLY A BLOGGER APP :D

2011-09-14T12:43:00.001+08:00

hehehe they finally have a blogger app! yayness! :D alright I'm just testing out the app so yeah that's all for today xD mwahahaha of course not ^^ I'm gonna rant a teeny weeny bit longer though :P and yeah that pict there. yea its my notes -.- I haven't been making notes nowadays ._. kind of miss the times I make notes. plus my notes were good. or so chan says. lolol.

well! today's physics paper 3 is soooooooo much better than physics paper 2. but I won't do well anyway so yeh not much difference -.- I just anyhow write. zzz can't even do the first question zzz gg alr my physics :( :( have been watching anime nowadays -.-! apparently I lost my motivation to study zz I should seeing that it's less than 2 months to the As but zomggggg I totally lost it -.-

yeh. prolly cos of that but oh wells I shall find another thing to motivate myself. I must. if not I will die -.- i hope I won die in tmr's math paper 2. PROBABILITY. stats. P&C -.- all my weak parts. sigh. and later suddenly come out ap gp and binomial theorem I gg alr. zz paper one no have sequence -.- zomg gg I'm gonna die tmr -.-! sigh. oh wells. I suppose I should go do something about it now. and now that they finally have this app. I CAN UPDATE MORE OFTEN :DD wheeeeeeeee ^^ hehehe. imma gonna read ABIT of math and tada! off to anime ^^

P-R-E-L-I-M-S

2011-09-03T22:18:00.003+08:00

yupp! its the prelims period now. 4 papers are over for now. and then we have the september holidays coming up. its only a week and its not really a holiday-holiday seeing that its halfway through prelims -.- plus with all the "activities" i have gotten myself into. there's totally no time for any holidays at all. how smart.

anyways. have been... slacking. alot. nowadays. guess i am the kind of person who gets demoralized so very easily. i was doing quite well. but. ah. crap. flunked my physics paper after spending time on trying to understand physics. guess we are not meant for each other. eh it takes two hands to clap okay. i've done my part and physics just dont want to respond -.- okay actually im just ranting and crapping. so yah. i'll try again -.-

have been watching dramas by rainie yang these days. and after watching Drunken to Love You i got the urge to go cut my hair. LOL. okay random. but i've been wanting to cut my hair. its just that. im not allowed to -.- stupid reason but yah. im not allowed to. well i guess those who know-know me knows why. pfft.

anyhow. AHEM. someone dao me. ppl whatsapp someone then i get dao-ed by someone. ahem-ahem. xD okay lah. not your fault actually. since you didnt even open whatsapp. -.- i think == if you opened and you dao me I SHALL KEEL YOU. LOL. aite. kidding.

supposed to be sleeping now but lalala im using my dear mac and updating this place since it felt like a long time since i come here. i really like to rant. so. yah. just ignore me :) have been having headaches since two days ago. until now. i think i imagined myself banging my head on the wall/table too much. i dont like to admit but i have to admit that maybe im a teeny weeny bit stressed up because of prelims. i dont know whats wrong with me and i dont know what i dont know and i think im obsessed about something and i just cannot stop thinking about it. dont know how to accept it i guess. oh wells. i think i will eventually find my way round it.

have alot on my mind. but. cant list it out or even put them in words. sigh. if i keep thinking so much i will grow old very quickly -.- meh. i shall update next time more "openly". i shall off my dear mac nao.

goodnight people!

590TH POST

2011-08-10T15:05:00.003+08:00

feels like a long time since i've posted. okay once again, im supposed to be doing homework. but. meh. i just had to find something else to do like this. -.- cos i need to talk to myself. like now. today's focus will be mainly on math and general paper and quantum physics. priority general paper followed by quantum physics then math. i want to do math so badly. but heck. there's consultation for both gp AND physics. thats why i gotta do those two first. why gp first even though consultation for gp is after school? because. eh wait. i need to see if there's new timetable. they said there wont be anymore PE after national day o.o hmm. interesting. -.- meh. okay so i shall check it out after this. so this is my tentative plan for the day since i went for lunch with mich just now to celebrate her bday.

i've finally deactivated my facebook account. in order to focus on my studies. but i feel as though facebook has nothing to do with whether i study or not because until now i still never study. and SOMEONE said he will remind me to study and never! ahem ahem. LOL. okay not blaming you okay? its still my fault. and i think i may not study even if you remind me so yah. dont take it to heart.

i think. i might just pursue for the only thing that im willing to work hard for - music. maybe major in music and minor in something else. but so many things need to be done since im only trained in performance and have zero fundamental knowledge about theory. hmm.

alright. i think i should just stop ranting for now. feeling much better than before and more willing to start doing something. or so i think. it feels like tmr's friday. zz. feel like ponning school tmr. and friday. so i have like one whole week off from school. ha. keep on dreaming girl. keep dreaming. oh wells. time to go. shall come back here next time.

IT WAS ONLY A DREAM

2011-07-23T10:30:00.002+08:00

nananana. have been listening to songs from yours truly's blog. :P okay. really. im supposed to be doing my work. but. gah. i dont wanna do~~ okay i shouldnt do that. oh wells. i really wanted to update my blog. but. gah. i guess i'll just have to postpone. == meh. sigh. a super long day tmr ._. and monday and tuesday too :( thanks to my school's GP department yeah. pfft. whats with a mock exam at a time like that. just throw us the prelim lah. also the same whut. meh. fine im just feeling grumpy so i dont really know what the heck im ranting about anyways. right. bye -.-